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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: deepdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Scribbles1338
    ASL Info:    18/Female/St. Louis
    Elite Ratio:    4.44 - 169/167/37
    Words: 66
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1022
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 472



    Description:
       The basic mental process after you hear what you dread the most...Not from personal experience, but it describes things a lot of my close friends have said.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsdeepdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Wounded, wounded
    Deep
    Right through the heart
    My life has collapsed
    Itís been ripped apart
    A scarís left
    Much too deep to heal
    The pain is quite numbing
    I can hardly feel
    This battle wound
    Infected and deep
    A dream and a promise
    Iíve forgotten to keep
    Iím wounded, Iím wounded
    Deep
    Right through the heart
    My tears do not heal
    I am falling apart




    Submitted on 2004-10-25 15:13:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      the flow is really quite good on this one. I'm sorry the subject was a bit of a painful one for you, but really it's quite well written poetry.

    well done and merry christmas
    | Posted on 2005-12-24 00:00:00 | by Senna27NZ | [ Reply to This ]
      An escalating tradegy, the blade takes no prisoners..looks like the worse is at hand, but there is always a bright smile hiding behind the cluster of bad winds and angry words..yep..lol...great work, thanks for the review.
    | Posted on 2005-06-28 00:00:00 | by Reckoner | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm, I'm really undecided about this poem. I do like it but it feels like it's missing something, the raw emotion maybe? I think it starts off really well but it finishes suddenly. A good poem but could definately be improved.
    | Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by Star_searcher | [ Reply to This ]
      I think you did a good job of discribing it if you haven't actually been through it yourself...
    Your words are very expressive and to the point.
    I think it could have been a little more, organised but I followed it ok anyway and besides that I like it!
    | Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by Laveina | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the images you have left here great writing not everybody likes rhyme schemes i have read other comments nice write my expierence with feelings you can really open ones minds set with a larger images
    sandman
    | Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]


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