Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password


Author: Scribbles1338
ASL Info:    18/Female/St. Louis
Elite Ratio:    4.44 - 169 /167 /37
Words: 66
Class/Type: Poetry /Longing
Total Views: 1625
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 482


The basic mental process after you hear what you dread the most...Not from personal experience, but it describes things a lot of my close friends have said.


Wounded, wounded
Right through the heart
My life has collapsed
It’s been ripped apart
A scar’s left
Much too deep to heal
The pain is quite numbing
I can hardly feel
This battle wound
Infected and deep
A dream and a promise
I’ve forgotten to keep
I’m wounded, I’m wounded
Right through the heart
My tears do not heal
I am falling apart

Submitted on 2004-10-25 15:13:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  the flow is really quite good on this one. I'm sorry the subject was a bit of a painful one for you, but really it's quite well written poetry.

well done and merry christmas
| Posted on 2005-12-24 00:00:00 | by Senna27NZ | [ Reply to This ]
  An escalating tradegy, the blade takes no prisoners..looks like the worse is at hand, but there is always a bright smile hiding behind the cluster of bad winds and angry work, thanks for the review.
| Posted on 2005-06-28 00:00:00 | by Reckoner | [ Reply to This ]
  Hmm, I'm really undecided about this poem. I do like it but it feels like it's missing something, the raw emotion maybe? I think it starts off really well but it finishes suddenly. A good poem but could definately be improved.
| Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by Star_searcher | [ Reply to This ]
  I think you did a good job of discribing it if you haven't actually been through it yourself...
Your words are very expressive and to the point.
I think it could have been a little more, organised but I followed it ok anyway and besides that I like it!
| Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by Laveina | [ Reply to This ]
  I like the images you have left here great writing not everybody likes rhyme schemes i have read other comments nice write my expierence with feelings you can really open ones minds set with a larger images
| Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?