deep

Author: Scribbles1338 ASL Info:    18/Female/St. Louis Elite Ratio:    4.44 - 169 /167 /37 Words: 66

Class/Type: Poetry /Longing Total Views: 1625 Average Vote:    No vote yet. Bytes: 482

Description:

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deep

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Wounded, wounded Deep Right through the heart My life has collapsed It’s been ripped apart A scar’s left Much too deep to heal The pain is quite numbing I can hardly feel This battle wound Infected and deep A dream and a promise I’ve forgotten to keep I’m wounded, I’m wounded Deep Right through the heart My tears do not heal I am falling apart

Submitted on 2004-10-25 15:13:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments

the flow is really quite good on this one. I'm sorry the subject was a bit of a painful one for you, but really it's quite well written poetry. well done and merry christmas

| Posted on 2005-12-24 00:00:00 | by Senna27NZ | [ Reply to This ]

An escalating tradegy, the blade takes no prisoners..looks like the worse is at hand, but there is always a bright smile hiding behind the cluster of bad winds and angry words..yep..lol...great work, thanks for the review.

| Posted on 2005-06-28 00:00:00 | by Reckoner | [ Reply to This ]

Hmm, I'm really undecided about this poem. I do like it but it feels like it's missing something, the raw emotion maybe? I think it starts off really well but it finishes suddenly. A good poem but could definately be improved.

| Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by Star_searcher | [ Reply to This ]

I think you did a good job of discribing it if you haven't actually been through it yourself... Your words are very expressive and to the point. I think it could have been a little more, organised but I followed it ok anyway and besides that I like it!

| Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by Laveina | [ Reply to This ]

I like the images you have left here great writing not everybody likes rhyme schemes i have read other comments nice write my expierence with feelings you can really open ones minds set with a larger images sandman

| Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]

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