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deep


Author: Scribbles1338
ASL Info:    18/Female/St. Louis
Elite Ratio:    4.44 - 169 /167 /37
Words: 66
Class/Type: Poetry /Longing
Total Views: 1625
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 482



Description:


The basic mental process after you hear what you dread the most...Not from personal experience, but it describes things a lot of my close friends have said.


deep



Wounded, wounded
Deep
Right through the heart
My life has collapsed
It’s been ripped apart
A scar’s left
Much too deep to heal
The pain is quite numbing
I can hardly feel
This battle wound
Infected and deep
A dream and a promise
I’ve forgotten to keep
I’m wounded, I’m wounded
Deep
Right through the heart
My tears do not heal
I am falling apart




Submitted on 2004-10-25 15:13:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  the flow is really quite good on this one. I'm sorry the subject was a bit of a painful one for you, but really it's quite well written poetry.

well done and merry christmas
| Posted on 2005-12-24 00:00:00 | by Senna27NZ | [ Reply to This ]
  An escalating tradegy, the blade takes no prisoners..looks like the worse is at hand, but there is always a bright smile hiding behind the cluster of bad winds and angry words..yep..lol...great work, thanks for the review.
| Posted on 2005-06-28 00:00:00 | by Reckoner | [ Reply to This ]
  Hmm, I'm really undecided about this poem. I do like it but it feels like it's missing something, the raw emotion maybe? I think it starts off really well but it finishes suddenly. A good poem but could definately be improved.
| Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by Star_searcher | [ Reply to This ]
  I think you did a good job of discribing it if you haven't actually been through it yourself...
Your words are very expressive and to the point.
I think it could have been a little more, organised but I followed it ok anyway and besides that I like it!
| Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by Laveina | [ Reply to This ]
  I like the images you have left here great writing not everybody likes rhyme schemes i have read other comments nice write my expierence with feelings you can really open ones minds set with a larger images
sandman
| Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]


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