|
|
Wounded, wounded Deep Right through the heart My life has collapsed It’s been ripped apart A scar’s left Much too deep to heal The pain is quite numbing I can hardly feel This battle wound Infected and deep A dream and a promise I’ve forgotten to keep I’m wounded, I’m wounded Deep Right through the heart My tears do not heal I am falling apart |
the flow is really quite good on this one. I'm sorry the subject was a bit of a painful one for you, but really it's quite well written poetry. well done and merry christmas | Posted on 2005-12-24 00:00:00 | by Senna27NZ | [ Reply to This ] | An escalating tradegy, the blade takes no prisoners..looks like the worse is at hand, but there is always a bright smile hiding behind the cluster of bad winds and angry words..yep..lol...great work, thanks for the review. | | Posted on 2005-06-28 00:00:00 | by Reckoner | [ Reply to This ] | Hmm, I'm really undecided about this poem. I do like it but it feels like it's missing something, the raw emotion maybe? I think it starts off really well but it finishes suddenly. A good poem but could definately be improved. | | Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by Star_searcher | [ Reply to This ] | I think you did a good job of discribing it if you haven't actually been through it yourself... | Your words are very expressive and to the point. I think it could have been a little more, organised but I followed it ok anyway and besides that I like it! | Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by Laveina | [ Reply to This ] | I like the images you have left here great writing not everybody likes rhyme schemes i have read other comments nice write my expierence with feelings you can really open ones minds set with a larger images | sandman | Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ] | |