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    dots Submission Name: deepdots

    Author: Scribbles1338
    ASL Info:    18/Female/St. Louis
    Elite Ratio:    4.44 - 169/167/37
    Words: 66
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1086
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 472

       The basic mental process after you hear what you dread the most...Not from personal experience, but it describes things a lot of my close friends have said.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Wounded, wounded
    Right through the heart
    My life has collapsed
    Itís been ripped apart
    A scarís left
    Much too deep to heal
    The pain is quite numbing
    I can hardly feel
    This battle wound
    Infected and deep
    A dream and a promise
    Iíve forgotten to keep
    Iím wounded, Iím wounded
    Right through the heart
    My tears do not heal
    I am falling apart

    Submitted on 2004-10-25 15:13:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      the flow is really quite good on this one. I'm sorry the subject was a bit of a painful one for you, but really it's quite well written poetry.

    well done and merry christmas
    | Posted on 2005-12-24 00:00:00 | by Senna27NZ | [ Reply to This ]
      An escalating tradegy, the blade takes no prisoners..looks like the worse is at hand, but there is always a bright smile hiding behind the cluster of bad winds and angry words..yep..lol...great work, thanks for the review.
    | Posted on 2005-06-28 00:00:00 | by Reckoner | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm, I'm really undecided about this poem. I do like it but it feels like it's missing something, the raw emotion maybe? I think it starts off really well but it finishes suddenly. A good poem but could definately be improved.
    | Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by Star_searcher | [ Reply to This ]
      I think you did a good job of discribing it if you haven't actually been through it yourself...
    Your words are very expressive and to the point.
    I think it could have been a little more, organised but I followed it ok anyway and besides that I like it!
    | Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by Laveina | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the images you have left here great writing not everybody likes rhyme schemes i have read other comments nice write my expierence with feelings you can really open ones minds set with a larger images
    | Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]

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