[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: I never thoughtdots

    Author: playcrackthesky
    ASL Info:    21/f/IA
    Elite Ratio:    4.46 - 463/457/88
    Words: 47
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Passion
    Total Views: 629
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 299

       just the chorus of a song I wrote, it sounds great with the piano, I left out the rest, it being extremely personal. enjoy, tell me what you think

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI never thoughtdots

    I never thought I'd tell you this
    all my hidden dreams
    are you and me.

    I never thought I'd see the day
    that all your tears were wiped away
    by someone new.

    I never thought
    I'd have to deal with
    you not loving me.

    Submitted on 2004-10-25 20:36:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      well.. it does seem vrey personal. but i'll tell you this, this packs a lot of punch. very simply put, very expressive and yes the last stanza seals it all. but i still think the first stanza is the best. i would like to read all of it though. but well, it is kind of personal, and if you want to keep it to yourself, its ok. but the choice of words also kind of suggests the amount you trusted the person "I never thought", or that you thought he loved you too.

    well thanks for sharing!

    | Posted on 2005-07-30 00:00:00 | by Zu | [ Reply to This ]
      Ok very short and to the point. It sounds very personal. everyone has personal problems, so you don't have to feel like your alone. Well not problems but.. anyways I can't definately seeing someone sing it.. Definately a hit.,,

    Good Job
    | Posted on 2005-06-28 00:00:00 | by XxStephyxX04 | [ Reply to This ]
      Simple, and because of that I likei t. The last stanza seals it for me. Everyone, I think, can relate to this, becuase its no tburied in personally imporant details that no one else can hope to understand. Feelings like this IMO and best expressed simpily and honestly or they lose there impact and it all just turns trite

    | Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by aghori | [ Reply to This ]
      Thanks for sharing the lyrics. Yes the story does sound very personal, but those generally make the best songs, because others feel them too.
    | Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      Very simple, concise and personal. Definately something anyone could relate to. It's understandable that you would be reluctent to post something personal, but that may have been what pulled this whole thing together. Nice work.
    | Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by Voodoo_Lounge | [ Reply to This ]
      so sad... so beautiful... this is a very (for lack of a better word) pretty poem. It was so powerful, and so simplistic. It was almost like an extended haiku, if you will. I know you say you'd rather leave out the rest, but if you should ever decide to post the song in its entirety, I would love to see it.
    | Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by Drizzt | [ Reply to This ]
      I think its a pity that you didn't post the rest of this piece as it sounds very nice. With piano you say? Well, that sounds even nicer, and I would strongly suggest you post the rest, even if re-worded, because I can't get much of an impression from just three stanzas. Nice work so far though.

    | Posted on 2004-10-26 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]
      well judging by what you have written here i can sure see why you decided against posting the rest of the song though id very very love to see them... i believe you when you say it sounds good with the piano... kinda a brooke fraser crossed with that other girl who i cant right think of... vanessa someone maybe... or not... dunno... but yeah...
    this kinda thing takes a lot to admit... and the thing is you usually dont realise this is where its at until you see him with someone new and thats when something goes *SNAP* and your like damn! not necessarily in a jealous kinda way but just in a i wanna be the one kinda way but yeah... seriously good luck with everything gorgeous girl
    | Posted on 2004-10-31 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    untitled written by ShyOne
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    Etiquette written by saartha
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Records I written by Raphael
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shi written by ShyOne
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    the testing of hypotheses written by Daniel Barlow
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Yes written by poetotoe
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    prison written by ShyOne
    Love written by saartha
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Fasade written by jackz
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]