[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Autumn Leaves are Fallingdots

    Author: PastelSky
    ASL Info:    18/F/In the clouds
    Elite Ratio:    4.24 - 181/223/49
    Words: 125
    Class/Type: Misc/Happy
    Total Views: 1482
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 877

       Once I thought about the whole ordeal of leaves falling from trees (and because of the fall season), it made me realize how similar it was to people who are down, having their bad days and situations, and how sometimes, we step on them without much a care.

    Of course, this isn't true in all cases, though I'm just comparing. Anyway, I wanted a poem that would bring hope to the "falling leaves" that are looked down upon, and I hope I conveyed the message decently with my poem.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAutumn Leaves are Fallingdots

    Autumn leaves are falling,
    falling from the sunny days,
    from the rainy days I've seen so long before.

    A wide array of pastel skies
    are painted at my bedroom window.
    Morning calls out to all the leaves
    that sit upon my front lawn;
    my doorstep.

    How often we step upon these leaves,
    frail and weak and discarded like debris,
    always to fall;
    only to fall.

    Autumn leaves are falling,
    longing for those innocent smiles and
    those happy piles
    we forget about another day.

    But today,
    Autumn leaves are flying;
    Despite the cold,
    Despite the fog,
    Despite the past of bitter tears
    the rain clouds cry in shame,

    Because I know that they are flying,
    and I know
    they always will.

    Submitted on 2004-10-27 00:00:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i really like this.. your comparison is very enlightening.. i think that's the word i'm looking for... the imagery was nice.. i got a feel of the leaves being personified.. in my mind with little faces and tears... don't know what feedback to give.. it seemed pretty good to me.. in the fifth stanza you have most of the lines capitolized, but in the other stanzas your only capitolization was after a period.. is this on purpose? i didn't see meaning in it.. if there is enlighten me...
    | Posted on 2004-10-27 00:00:00 | by besodemuerte | [ Reply to This ]
      I too like the comparisons that you made and although I'm not such a big of free-verse poetry, describtions, and especially nature, make even free-verse poetry get to me. I also have to say that I am one of those falling leaves but people don't really tread on me (as it were), they seem to be trying to put me back. Anyhow, the ending to this piece was really uplifting, and I'd say it was a fitting end to a nice write. Good job.
    | Posted on 2004-10-27 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]
      So Cute, I love how you personify (I think I spelled that wrong) the leaves. How you gave the leaves emothions and personalities is so Great! Usually someone personifies death or love, but leaves is so unique and so brilliant. These leaves reminded me of a character in The Glass Menagarie. I liked this piece so much i must add it to my favorites!
    | Posted on 2004-10-27 00:00:00 | by Celina Chiscolm | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Push written by JanePlane
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Bond written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    AI written by poetotoe
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Linger written by saartha
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]