Description: well its kinda simple but if you want to know the story behind it-my boyfriend cheated on me and so i wrote about it but this was a very long time ago and he has changed and made a huge effort...just praying he'll stay that way.
Still -------------------------------------------
-You wiped my eyes
when all I could do
was cry.
-You held me close
when all I wanted
was to die.
-You showed me
what being loved
was all about.
-You said you were mine
and gave me no reason
to doubt.
-But then
something happened
and im not sure what.
-It made you
hurt me and
it made me cut.
-How could
you do this
I had to ask.
-But getting you
to answer was
my hardest task.
-To this day
I still don’t
Know why.
-Whenever I
think about it
I still tend to cry.
-All I can do
is just
hope and pray.
-That you’ll keep
your word
until my dying day.
Okay. I liked this one alot, the message and all. But, before someone esle tells you, I will...Your structure is kinda off...choppy...ya know? Oh well, dont be mad at me:( I really like it though...have you ever let him see this one yet? If not, I think that you should:) Ok, imma go now:)
I like this, i think the simple langauge created great emotion, it worked really well. Can i ask though what are the - for in your poem? It might be better if you used them like; You wiped my eyes - when all I could do is cry I don't know, just a suggestion on a personal note I hope you now trust your boyfriend because a relationship cannot be built if there is no trust. Keep up the good work.
I like this peice and I like the stanza sructure, it works well with this peice. and I like the message, having your "other half" cheat on you hurts the worse. but once again it was good...
Submission Name: Still
on a personal note I hope you now trust your boyfriend because a relationship cannot be built if there is no trust. Keep up the good work.