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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Farewell Girl in the Photodots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Mithrandir
    ASL Info:    28/m/N.Y.
    Elite Ratio:    4.62 - 452/681/113
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 848
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 656



    Description:
       ok so I know I said I was gonna try and not post for a while but that was before I learned Girlinthephoto was leaving us. Those of you who know her work, know how amazing of a writer she is! Let us all wish her the best. It was her writing that hooked me on this site and I can think of no better fitting send off then this.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFarewell Girl in the Photodots
    -------------------------------------------


    There goes inspiration
    in human form
    Walking through the door


    I know for sure
    Iíll never be the same
    Her words a brand
    A new wrinkle on my brain


    Thank you
    for shared words
    honest emotions
    and for the passion
    I havenít seen
    No not since I learned
    Of the greats
    Like Pablo Neruda
    Lawrence Ferlinghetti
    Even Homer himself

    You gave them all
    A run for their money
    Farewell my friend
    May the sunshine
    Forever upon your back




    Submitted on 2004-10-27 14:31:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      isn't it wonderful when you find inspiration and have the fleeting pleasure of capturing it if only for an instant before it flees through the door? i think this is an excellent start to a poem. there are a few nit-picky things, however.

    "I know for sure
    Iíll never be the same
    Her words a brand
    A new wrinkle on my brain" -> here, i'd drop the rhyme because it seems forced.

    "Thank you
    for shared words
    honest emotions
    and for the passion " -> i'd drop the second "for" because it seems redundant.

    "I havenít seen
    No not since I learned
    Of the greats
    Like Pablo Neruda
    Lawrence Ferlinghetti
    Even Homer himself" -> perhaps shortening it to "I haven't seen/since I learned of/Pablo Neruda/Lawrence Ferlinghetti/Homer himself" might make it more fluid.

    "You gave them all
    A run for their money" -> an understandable sentiment, yet a bit clichť

    "May the sunshine
    Forever upon your back" -> do you mean "sun shine" or "sunshine"? if it's an intentional play on on words, i commend you.

    then again, it might just be me. take it all with a bulldozer of salt.
    *amrita*
    | Posted on 2004-11-19 00:00:00 | by creativeentity | [ Reply to This ]
      she sure will be missed... shes brilliant! and this is a lovely goodbye/we love you/thanx for everything kinda tribute.
    ive just gotta take a lil second to be proud of myself coz ive discovered Pablo Neruda! haha! he's brilliant! im so completely in love but anyways... yeah... she sure gives everyone a run for their money! theres always new ppl beinging fresh ideas to this site and this site was all the more richer for having her here! awesome write again!
    | Posted on 2004-11-11 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Why are people leaving Elite? Did I miss something??? Very sweet to give this tribute to someone that you look up to, sounds like she made a real impression here! Bummer I didn't get to check out her work, now I feel left out
    | Posted on 2004-11-02 00:00:00 | by WaxingPoetic | [ Reply to This ]
      She was a unique writer and I always enjoyed reading her work, and loved it when she graced me with a comment on my work. Of course I also love Lawrence Ferlinghetti. So we have two things in common, friend. Well talented people are joining every day. They won't be the same, but that is for the best, don't you think? Good luck with all your writing,
    Dave
    | Posted on 2004-10-27 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      Great dedication to her. I really enjoy her writing as well. She inspired me to try different formats and think outside of the box. I hope she has a great life after Elite Skills. :) Great write.
    -blt
    | Posted on 2004-10-27 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      i'll miss her too. She's a very talented poet and a supernice person. I'm upset that we've lost Dan Shilton and her. I think the fallout from this election has been great. (weeps a little)
    | Posted on 2004-10-28 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      John, when I read this the day she left...I was already weeping...then your words poured through me like a fine wine not to be take in one stop...but chilled and tasted for all the beauty it/and/ she is...her soul is so pure with light...I'm just as in awe of her as you my dear.
    Her amazing ability to speak through us is almost overwhelming...I know you feel as I do...for the first time I read this...I did not think of it as cheese...but the fine wine that washes all the crap around here away...
    THANK YOU ...John...THANK YOU!
    BEAUTIFUL...wonderful reflection of the soul that touched so many of us...you are right, when you said to my mom..."it's a shame the new talent that comes will not be able to read
    Poetic Beauty's work... < < my name for Nancy
    for she will always be that to me...thank you for showing it to all.
    | Posted on 2004-10-28 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, this is great. I don't think I ever read any of her stuff, but reading this I feel like I missed out. BIG TIME. Sucks that Kapone left too.
    Later
    HWKI
    | Posted on 2004-11-01 00:00:00 | by HWKI | [ Reply to This ]


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