wow I really liked this one, it reminds me of someone I once knew... You wrote it so well, it's sure to appeal to many. "Hold on! Hold on to my wisping hand And Iíll show you wondrous sights." I like how this tells of lifting someone up, if only they won't let go.
I don't care to much for this conventional style; not abad piece just personal preference. I like the use of internal ryhme however. Do you realize how clever this is? No one else will probably think this without reading this comment. I write a lot of word play so to mean it's obvious. The Night you mention could also be heard as knight when listening to the poem rather than reading it in which case the silver shadow guiding toward a brilliand light would be armor some dull some shiney. Brilliant. Peace
I liked the main idea of the poem, but the rhyme scheme was there, then it wasnt... I was looking for a pattern but I couldnt find one. I really liked some of the lines and how they came together, particularly the verse: Silver shadows guiding Towards a brilliant light. Still my heart is aching Leaving you behind. It almost(?) rhymed? Or it just flowed better in general. Anyways! Good work and good luck! -Andrya
Very very well written and that's for sure! The words are very well chosen and the idea is very well presented too, I really liked the finale "Cry no more my sweet babe. Cry no more for me. A silver candle Iíll hold high To lead you to my arms.", Beautiful.
I like the repetition in the first and last stanza, the only critisizm that I would have is that it comes off a little singsongy to me, but that could just be because it makes me think of don't cry for me argentina lol