Description: This is about people and how they follow the patters of daily life without questioning if it is in their best interest or if it relates to choosing their own destiny. They dont chose... they follow.
Man Made Machine -------------------------------------------
Funny little habits
help her sustain purpose.
Every look in the mirror
is me with her blank stare
She tries to fight it
but it's too late
she's a consistant machine
No longer free from the chains of our world
no one can stop her now.
Um...it's ok but i think you need to elaberate a little more. it seems unfinished. sorry if that's not something you wanted to hear...but i think it has great posability. keep working on it..
It sounds a little like you took a long time wrigting this and walked away, althought it has great potentcial you should wright part 2 of this, make it a little more pronouned, it could be awsome, keep it up amd elaberate but not to much.
I have to agree that this feels unfinished. There isn't enough here to allow the reader to truly understand exactly what this is about and get inside of it...
Submission Name: Man Made Machine
