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    dots Submission Name: Psychodramadots

    Author: the apocrypha
    Elite Ratio:    3.37 - 185/192/48
    Words: 68
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 906
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 524

       Doctor, you've gotta gimme something to feel alright!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    First thing in
    A thousand lonely years
    First thing so interesting
    As, in, post-mortem pre-within
    Our lows and even lower
    Than our worst sorrows
    Like molten, gleaming mercury
    Longing to feel the loneliness
    Of eternity

    Filling emptiness
    With emptiness still
    And who ever will
    Try to understand
    As a psychologist trying to mend
    Strips of ripped yesterdays
    Time will never see the light of day


    Submitted on 2004-10-29 08:10:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      well first up... im allergic to psychodrama... prolly i shoulda given it more of a shot but it freaked the hell outta me!
    i liked this... the first stanza was awesome though it kinda had moments where i couldnt decide if it wanted to fit with the second stanza or not...
    the images of filling emptiness with emptiness and time never seeing the light of day again... woah... awesome... i know the emptiness one well and i hate time... i wrote it a hate letter at once (coz it just takes time... just give it some time... yeah whatever) but yeah... im for seriously gonna have to come back and check more of your stuff out! ciao for now!
    | Posted on 2004-11-06 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Ooooopps! What does this mean? Is this a revised work or a copy. If it revised you did a good job elimimating some stumbling blocks in structure. Loneliness is a very dark feeling that doesn't have to be. The first and best friend you have to find is yourself.
    A fine job in expressing your feelings. With a little more work on structure you will have a very good work.
    | Posted on 2004-10-29 00:00:00 | by arkay | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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