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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Behind a Maskdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Tears of Azrael
    ASL Info:    14/F/Lost
    Elite Ratio:    5.47 - 107/102/25
    Words: 89
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 885
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 581



    Description:
       Going through writer's block, and I've been classified as a "veteran writer" probably because I haven't submitted something in a long time. So...here it is. But I have to mention, this was a forced poem, not written out of my own accord. It was a free write on the topic "We all live behind a mask" since we'll be reading the Phantom of the Opera in English class....so it was written in five minutes. The rhyming scheme is random; there isn't an absolute one, actually. The words just came from my mind and I poured them out on paper, so it's a little strange. I'm expecting bad comments. Positive ones are ok, but this is a rough poem (I can hardly call it a poem) and I felt I needed to submit something.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBehind a Maskdots
    -------------------------------------------


    We all live behind a mask
    No truth, just a masquerade
    Afraid to love, afraid to die
    Deceit so great, we must hide
    Hide...on the inside
    It's all a game, a fool's victory
    An illusion, a dream, a thought
    Concealed by lies, hidden by shame
    A nation of fear, we are all the same
    We all live behind a mask
    No one to trust, the same faces
    No origin, no culture, no different races
    Mindless eyes, people cultivating sorrow
    Behind masks, emotions are so hollow
    Behind a mask




    Submitted on 2004-10-29 20:53:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Great Job...your wording is great and so is the flow of this work...i love the idea and i can really relate to the feeling that everything/everyone is fake...i love phantom of the opera and i think its cool that you get to learn about it in school...anyway really great idea and wording, this poem made me think you were older than you were...its not childish like a lot of teenagers poems (i'm a teenager i know about how childish our poems can be having written a few myself)...keep up the good work, sorry i don't have any helpful suggestions
    | Posted on 2004-11-13 00:00:00 | by morte | [ Reply to This ]
      It was better than your description gave it credit for. Next time don't give me the bad news first. it tends to sour my other thoughts. Anyway, the lines that did rhyme weren't so bad, I actually took a liking on these ones:

    Concealed by lies, hidden by shame
    A nation of fear, we are all the same

    The general thought behind this mask is cool. I've used it - but to a completely...masked way.
    High!
    | Posted on 2004-10-29 00:00:00 | by Suven7 | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm completely with you. You wrote this in only 5 minutes? I'd hate to see what you could do with it if you did a revision (*hint hint*). Of course you don't have to but it's only for your benefit. I can't think of anything to change, but it's absolutely beautiful, so no complaints here, but a strong sense of sympathy. Too many times I live behind a mask when I could go out and BE, but I'm too afraid. . .
    -Secret
    | Posted on 2004-10-29 00:00:00 | by secret moon | [ Reply to This ]
      awesome feeling.. and the notion. yes! we do, we are..

    human

    masks are comfort.. easy hiding.. i think it's this place.. this soil.. it's infertile.. nothing can grow, nothing can bloom..

    i hope, i am wrong...
    | Posted on 2004-10-29 00:00:00 | by wilderness | [ Reply to This ]


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