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a joked played on yourself


Author: Lachesis
ASL Info:    16,f,wi
Elite Ratio:    6.94 - 281 /69 /6
Words: 96
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1169
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 555



Description:


Take what you will. This was meant to be a tribute to the 'main street fish ever flowing with the stream.' That you are who you make yourself meant to be. Dont let people decide for you. The mind is a terrible thing to waste so why not use it your way?
Hope you all like. Keep in mind I am new and I like comments,and critisim. Tell methe truth.


a joked played on yourself



When you wake alone,
in a room all to known to you,
yet you know not who is in it.


When you look in the mirror,
and the person is all to familar,
yet you know not who it is.


When you hear a name,
and it is all to known to you,
yet you know not who they mean.

When you dont know yourself
its the worst thing that could happen.
It's the truth untold.
The lies we have to face.
It's the joke we play upon ourselves.




Submitted on 2004-10-30 13:18:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  AHH. honestly i feel like this at times. not knowing who iam exactly. first two stanza's were hard to understand for me so i read it a few times.

in a room all to known to you,
yet you know not who is in it.

these two lines you arranged the wording differently so thats probably why it took me time. seemed a bit historical too me. lovely.
| Posted on 2005-03-27 00:00:00 | by poeticblindness | [ Reply to This ]
  i really like this piece. I think it displays a lot of truth with everyone in this world today. It applies to everyone. Whether they choose to accept it or not. and besides what another one of your commenters have said. i think that the choice of words that you chose were different and yet tasteful. I like them and it gives the poem an extra "something" I like this very much and i cant wait to read more. Good Job.
| Posted on 2005-01-24 00:00:00 | by PookiezBookie | [ Reply to This ]
  the first two stanzas really hit the spot for me. just like... yeah i get it. they were very powerful and well structured. as for the third and fourth verse i personally think it started to lose it's powerfulness. i don't know, good job though <3
| Posted on 2005-01-19 00:00:00 | by Lemmy | [ Reply to This ]
  I like this you manage to come up with lots of way of demonstarating not knowing who you are, but it does sometimes read as if your trying to squeze too many words into a line. Also being picky you spell 'too' wrong in the second line of each verse. (Thankfuly I realised I spelt 'wrong' wrong before posting this...)
| Posted on 2004-10-31 00:00:00 | by tranquil_demon | [ Reply to This ]
  This simple thoughts brought an idea to the table- Individuality is more than just a label-This piece is rather spelled out- poetic just the same- Perhaps in someone it'll ignite a spark- Feed the ever fickle flames.
peace
| Posted on 2004-10-31 00:00:00 | by shaman | [ Reply to This ]


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