Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Autographdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Anju
    ASL Info:    25/f/India
    Elite Ratio:    3.06 - 24/27/15
    Words: 164
    Class/Type: Poetry/Friendship
    Total Views: 821
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 991



    Description:
       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAutographdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I see the deep breach
    In the hearts of my pals
    When with love they reach
    For the words of comfort.
    I reach for those hearts
    With pain held in mine
    Which stings so hard
    And stays all life.

    Parting with you is as hard to me
    As stabbing myself to a dreadful death.
    Bidding you bye is more to me,like-
    Running a knife through my heart-your Home.
    The same hard fret,I found in your eyes,
    The one I had kept for you,my friend;
    None then did need to utter a word
    Instead the eyes spoke it all.

    That moment then stood in shoulder with me
    Which came to take my friend away;
    Like a wind that blows two flowers apart
    I saw her being blown away from me.
    I set my hand in a rhythmic sway
    With tears in my eyes and her autograph-
    "Time and space can't part us both ,
    For now we abode in each other's heart."




    Submitted on 2004-10-31 08:20:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I love the part where you say it was like the wind that blows two flowers about, but it's so sad. I think similes like this make a poem much more interesting. This poem was beautifully written. Goodbyes are always the saddest things to deal with.
    | Posted on 2004-10-31 00:00:00 | by w0rdz_0f_wizd0m | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    30230

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Fasade written by jackz
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Push written by JanePlane
    Carry written by saartha
    I Do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Cover written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Every..... written by jackz
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry