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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: one worddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: brokenmuse
    ASL Info:    26/F/AL
    Elite Ratio:    3.29 - 756/734/161
    Words: 58
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 835
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 455



    Description:
       just trying out a new radically different rythm on this poem, all feedback welcome.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsone worddots
    -------------------------------------------


    black night falls in a mist
    gray
    surrounding the world
    blanketing
    cloaking the earth like a mystery
    unknown
    a chilling, shrieking wind blows
    hard
    a cry caught in my throat
    aching
    dying for it's premature release
    lusting
    begging for the heat of passion
    consuming
    all shall soon be gone
    burning
    the passion of my heart and soul
    spent




    Submitted on 2004-03-10 17:38:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hi, much like watching a baseball pitcher hurl speedballs and the hitter connecting solidly with each one...Crack! and the ball is over the back bleachers..Each line sizzled along and then was crumpled up and compacted like the words were a sheet of aluminium foil, being wadded in a tight fist...or seeing an apple and biting into...enjoyed this.. koster
    | Posted on 2007-12-25 00:00:00 | by koster | [ Reply to This ]
      wow... excellent write and word choices combining with so few words for its maximum imagery... nice one keep it up
    | Posted on 2004-03-11 00:00:00 | by Crash | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm... this one word, would it happen to be "love"? Anyway, I enjoyed this!
    | Posted on 2004-03-10 00:00:00 | by Cai | [ Reply to This ]
      i like how you can write a line and then summarize it so simply in one word without losing the power of the piece. WOW!
    | Posted on 2004-03-10 00:00:00 | by painfullyme | [ Reply to This ]


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