[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: one worddots

    Author: brokenmuse
    ASL Info:    26/F/AL
    Elite Ratio:    3.29 - 756/734/161
    Words: 58
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 821
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 455

       just trying out a new radically different rythm on this poem, all feedback welcome.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsone worddots

    black night falls in a mist
    surrounding the world
    cloaking the earth like a mystery
    a chilling, shrieking wind blows
    a cry caught in my throat
    dying for it's premature release
    begging for the heat of passion
    all shall soon be gone
    the passion of my heart and soul

    Submitted on 2004-03-10 17:38:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Hi, much like watching a baseball pitcher hurl speedballs and the hitter connecting solidly with each one...Crack! and the ball is over the back bleachers..Each line sizzled along and then was crumpled up and compacted like the words were a sheet of aluminium foil, being wadded in a tight fist...or seeing an apple and biting into...enjoyed this.. koster
    | Posted on 2007-12-25 00:00:00 | by koster | [ Reply to This ]
      wow... excellent write and word choices combining with so few words for its maximum imagery... nice one keep it up
    | Posted on 2004-03-11 00:00:00 | by Crash | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm... this one word, would it happen to be "love"? Anyway, I enjoyed this!
    | Posted on 2004-03-10 00:00:00 | by Cai | [ Reply to This ]
      i like how you can write a line and then summarize it so simply in one word without losing the power of the piece. WOW!
    | Posted on 2004-03-10 00:00:00 | by painfullyme | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by ShyOne
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Carry written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Etiquette written by saartha
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    You read free written by poetotoe
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Shi written by ShyOne
    prison written by ShyOne
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]