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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Forgotten Fieldsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LadyInRed88
    ASL Info:    19/f/MO
    Elite Ratio:    3.68 - 131/180/32
    Words: 131
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1330
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 793



    Description:
       I'm dreaming of winter... and I'm feeling the love right now.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsForgotten Fieldsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The winds sing softly over
    Forgotten fields of fallen snow,
    [ h a l l e l u j a h]
    So angelic like your sweet breath
    That I remember from so long ago.

    Skin on skin beneath the dead oak,
    While the winter world cried all around us
    We held magic in our fingertips
    And we both called it love.

    We danced inside eachother's footprints;
    We danced inside eachother's eyes.
    We saw our breath become one with heaven,
    Though we were both breathless deep inside.

    On the coldest day that winter,
    In that forgotten field of fallen snow...
    I was nestled up so safe and warm inside your heart,
    [ h a l l e l u j a h]
    And the angels sang me home....




    Submitted on 2004-11-01 22:21:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
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    ||| Comments |||
      this is very pretty.
    The piece is a bit of universal and unique at the same time. This piece is sincere and sweet to me. nice work
    | Posted on 2004-11-16 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]
      I can see why this has so many comments! This is very beautiful. Beautiful in everyway. The words were beautiful, the imagery, the power in it. Just beautiful. I love this line, "In that forgotten field of fallen snow..." It just flows so naturally and the love is expressed wonderfully because of that. Excellent job.
    -blt
    | Posted on 2004-11-07 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      OH! I forgot... This is being added to my

    favorites

    This is "good stuff"! Very much enjoyed!
    Keep up the good work!


    TeddyD
    | Posted on 2004-11-02 00:00:00 | by TeddyD | [ Reply to This ]
      Very Good! It really got my attention...

    snow is one of those things to be enjoyed in moderatiom! lol(and I'm from Minnesota!)

    TeddyD
    | Posted on 2004-11-02 00:00:00 | by TeddyD | [ Reply to This ]
      'Though we were both breathless deep inside.'
    Wow. That line was amazing, I really liked that.
    'We held magic in our fingertips
    And we both called it love.' - That was a bit iffy, that second line seemed a tad short in comparison. Overall it was a heart-warming poem. The sense of comfort and happiness was empowering.
    | Posted on 2004-11-01 00:00:00 | by queer bear | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. I love winter. This is terrific. The third stanza would have to be my favorite. Sorry I can't offer you any constructive criticism. This is really amazing.
    | Posted on 2004-11-01 00:00:00 | by Abby Sinthetic | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked the descriptive words and they were clear enough that I actually had the picture of two dead lovers. It wasnt a depressing message either. I like the incorporation of heaven and angels in your poem too, it really added to the flavor. Keep it up!
    | Posted on 2004-11-01 00:00:00 | by AFireInside01 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it. Although I dont like winter, this makes me like it a little bit. Now I want to go sledding or something, HA! Great words put together to create a warm feeling from something that is purely cold. But I guess that is what love does, doesnt it? Always a warm blanket feeling.
    | Posted on 2004-11-01 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      YUM! this is gorgeous! i love this... how unconventional it seems to be with most identifying winter with doom and gloom and blues and yet here you go writing about the coldest day of winter and making it gorgeous... making me jealous it couldnt be me having angels sing me home...
    im LOVING the third stanza most of all!
    [h a l l e l u j a h] is a gorgeous look too... i can almost hear the angels sing... yyuuuuuuum!
    | Posted on 2004-11-01 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    30461

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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