The winds sing softly over
Forgotten fields of fallen snow,
[ h a l l e l u j a h]
So angelic like your sweet breath
That I remember from so long ago.
Skin on skin beneath the dead oak,
While the winter world cried all around us
We held magic in our fingertips
And we both called it love.
We danced inside eachother's footprints;
We danced inside eachother's eyes.
We saw our breath become one with heaven,
Though we were both breathless deep inside.
On the coldest day that winter,
In that forgotten field of fallen snow...
I was nestled up so safe and warm inside your heart,
[ h a l l e l u j a h]
And the angels sang me home....
I can see why this has so many comments! This is very beautiful. Beautiful in everyway. The words were beautiful, the imagery, the power in it. Just beautiful. I love this line, "In that forgotten field of fallen snow..." It just flows so naturally and the love is expressed wonderfully because of that. Excellent job. -blt
'Though we were both breathless deep inside.' Wow. That line was amazing, I really liked that. 'We held magic in our fingertips And we both called it love.' - That was a bit iffy, that second line seemed a tad short in comparison. Overall it was a heart-warming poem. The sense of comfort and happiness was empowering.
Wow. I love winter. This is terrific. The third stanza would have to be my favorite. Sorry I can't offer you any constructive criticism. This is really amazing.
I really liked the descriptive words and they were clear enough that I actually had the picture of two dead lovers. It wasnt a depressing message either. I like the incorporation of heaven and angels in your poem too, it really added to the flavor. Keep it up!
I like it. Although I dont like winter, this makes me like it a little bit. Now I want to go sledding or something, HA! Great words put together to create a warm feeling from something that is purely cold. But I guess that is what love does, doesnt it? Always a warm blanket feeling.
YUM! this is gorgeous! i love this... how unconventional it seems to be with most identifying winter with doom and gloom and blues and yet here you go writing about the coldest day of winter and making it gorgeous... making me jealous it couldnt be me having angels sing me home... im LOVING the third stanza most of all! [h a l l e l u j a h] is a gorgeous look too... i can almost hear the angels sing... yyuuuuuuum!
Submission Name: Forgotten Fields
