Description: Ok so I wrote this in like 5 mintues while tettering on sleep. I know it needs work but I do like some of what I have here so please rip it to shreds and help me out, cause I really think I have something to build on with this piece.
this write comes of to me as a white flag like i'm sick of my life being so hard and worthless...just let me be and be taken by the sea...its weird though this is a rather sad piece of a broken man seeming to give up...it comes off so peaceful...when i was done reading it i felt really relaxed or maybe i'm just weird maybe the thoughts of the ocean...i love the word use...fractured view...thats a great description...and the lines of a blind man seeing better than this jaded man...i'm not really thinking that its incomplete but if you added more i don't think it would not break the serene and sadness of this write...purps
You will find her...amidst the moments of light. She'll be the one watching you...within your darkest night. You'll find her, as she waits for you... heartfelt fragments scream to be heard your calling will bound a love so true.
I wish you happiness and joy John... You deserve it! Be well & Take care Kelly
This is a brilliant piece of writing. The imagery comes together very well to communicate an emotion to the reader without beating them over the head with it. This piece really allowed me to add my own thoughts and significances to your words, and i really love that in a poem. It reminded me of the times when i just wanted to float away on the tide. Thanx for your words.