Palette of Lust by queer bear

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Submission Name: Palette of Lust dots

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Author:	queer bear
Elite Ratio:	3.34 - 41/46/7
Words:	73

Class/Type:	Poetry/Passion
Total Views:	499
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	535

Description:
This is the only poem I have written about passion or lust. I was surprised to have started writing this, even more so to finishing it.

Any suggestions to improve?

Palette of Lust dots

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Deep crimson visions,
tinting you a shade of passion.
Breathing in your scent,
tasting you again.

Embrace me darling,
share your scarlet lust.
Search through my mind,
my trembling body and enamored trust.

Accept my submission,
my red cheeks, scared of rejection.
Protect me, keep me safe.
Make me yours.

Cover me in kisses,
with lips so cherry sweet.
Tickle me with gentle fingers,
and take my gift to you.

Submitted on 2004-11-02 16:17:19 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
  Very colourful and sensual... i think that you have done a great job.. i love the way you played with the words in the opening lines too:

Deep crimson visions,
tinting you a shade of passion.
| Posted on 2004-11-16 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]
  Cover me in kisses,
with lips so cherry sweet.
Tickle me with gentle fingers,
and take my gift to you

this sounds like a lust that you want to feel with another person...and you want them to see that you've never felt this way...
| Posted on 2004-11-03 00:00:00 | by Brwnsknsam05 | [ Reply to This ]
  Lust...hmmm...touchy subject. i think we ALL have lusted over someone or something in our life. i love poetry about lust and passion, not because i'm a pervert...but because it seems to be some of the most beautiful poetry, just as this poem was very beautiful. Two thumbs up
| Posted on 2004-11-02 00:00:00 | by w0rdz_0f_wizd0m | [ Reply to This ]
  i thought that it was good. the rhyming was good and it read well. i thought that the last line of stanza 2 didn't fit well with the smoothness of the rest of the poem. maybe you could change it to something like, "envelope my trembling trust.."? just my opinion. nevertheless it was a good piece. i liked it. keep it up.
| Posted on 2004-11-02 00:00:00 | by maquiladora | [ Reply to This ]

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