I hate you by curiosityskitty

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Submission Name: I hate you dots

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Author:	curiosityskitty
ASL Info:	30/F/TN
Elite Ratio:	3.2 - 145/149/30
Words:	65

Class/Type:	Poetry/Angry
Total Views:	525
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	413

Description:
Any suggestions for the last line? I'm just not feeling it.

I hate you dots

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How can you be so smug
An air of condescension
How can you judge my actions
If you do not know my intentions

How can you call me names
And prick me with your tongue
Sharp words you’ve spit at me
Upon my heart have stung

Ascend your self-claimed throne
Of superiority
And there I hope you rot
With your animosity

Submitted on 2004-11-02 18:12:15 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  The last line is great; I wouldn't change it. But one line was out of place though..."Upon my heart have stung" Maybe it's just me, but the rhyme seems a little forced.
But overall, I love it. You expressed anger in such a beautiful way. Brilliant word choice as well. This has earned a spot on my favorites
-Azrael
| Posted on 2004-11-02 00:00:00 | by Tears of Azrael | [ Reply to This ]
  Very good poem indeed, very well written and very well presented too. Too short but too emotional at the same time, the words are very well chosen. and about the last line I liked it and the only one I think about instead of this one is from Eminem's song, saying
"I hope you f***in' burn in
hell for this [censored]"
| Posted on 2004-11-02 00:00:00 | by Yousef | [ Reply to This ]
  Very good poem indeed, very well written and very well presented too. Too short but too emotional at the same time, the words are very well chosen. and about the last line I liked it and the only one I think about instead of this one is from Eminem's song, saying
"I hope you f***in' burn in
hell for this [censored]"
| Posted on 2004-11-02 00:00:00 | by Yousef | [ Reply to This ]
  well i've added you to my favorites. you have translated what few things of pure anger that i could not. thank you for this. i absolutly loved it. please continue this type of thing. thanks again.
| Posted on 2004-11-02 00:00:00 | by butterfly wings | [ Reply to This ]
  umm this could use more details it's a good start, but seems like you're holding back. it could be just me. maybe if you umm now what was it? oh well gotta be the meds working on me. sorry, no harm meant.
| Posted on 2004-11-02 00:00:00 | by hotrodruss | [ Reply to This ]

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