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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The lantern and the loverdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: vvv
    Elite Ratio:    2.81 - 149/208/94
    Words: 61
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 215
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 437



    Description:
       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


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    dotsThe lantern and the loverdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The lanterns hang to seize
    the nights remission of disease.
    The servile stars collect motion
    from the haphazard hanging oceans,
    audience to the falling yew
    that lanterns praise and eschew.
    The night fiends the darkness
    and wits it to starkness.
    The amour of lovers mediate
    betwen erose and the gate
    of lights coming to initiate
    the blinding hasps of the state.




    Submitted on 2004-11-02 20:30:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      It was fuzzy in understanding and the descriptive words you used made me fall in love with this poem. I love when you cant understand a writer's workings to their full extent of greatness. It leaves something to the imagination. I enjoy a little mystery. GREAT WORK!
    *Amanda*
    | Posted on 2004-11-18 00:00:00 | by fortressofwords | [ Reply to This ]
      I didn't get the literal meaning of this, but there was something beneath the surface that just caught me. It's very interesting; very good word choice and rhyming scheme. I didn't even know eschew was a word
    I found one typo on the tenth line: "betwen" should be "between" and another on the second line: "nights" should be "night's." Very good, very interesting. Great write.
    -Azrael
    | Posted on 2004-11-02 00:00:00 | by Tears of Azrael | [ Reply to This ]
      i thought that it was good. the words that you choose were very descriptive and they fit well. i thought that it was well written and i liked it. keep it up.
    | Posted on 2004-11-02 00:00:00 | by maquiladora | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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