I'm Not Ready

Author: mimi ASL Info:    30/f/ny Elite Ratio:    3.66 - 597 /390 /111 Words: 121

Class/Type: Poetry /Misc Total Views: 977 Average Vote:    No vote yet. Bytes: 639

Description:

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I'm Not Ready

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Loud voices from my conscience, I’m not ready, Fills the void in my mind, To let you go. An unspoken thought echoes, Not strong enough, And tears me up inside. To take the blow. Pain and loneliness fills the emptiness. Fears, I have inside. Tears, I try to hide. The pain you brought to me, left for me when you walked away On that sunny day. I sit and scream without a voice I AM NOT READY." I have no choice, but to let you go.

Submitted on 2004-11-02 23:40:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments

I like your poem for it contrasting feeling battling each other. I always like original idea or concepts first. My suggest would be to use I's and in this sentence you need to change the word sit to sat,because in the line before you wrote: on that suuny day, which mean your talking in the past tense. Overall a good write

| Posted on 2005-03-30 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]

This poem reminded me allot of a passed relationship I've had. I felt alot like the feeling of loss and desperation that your poem eminates. I've read a few of your poems and admire your style of writing; so simple and precise. I wish I could be so strait forward and yet so candid.

| Posted on 2005-02-05 00:00:00 | by Ghost Child | [ Reply to This ]

I like the alternating sentence/description structure in the first stanza, but then, I thought the whole thing was pretty great. The rhyme scheme was unforced feeling, the flow was good, although the addition of "left for me" stumbles my reading a bit. I enjoyed this one. :)

| Posted on 2005-01-31 00:00:00 | by jer | [ Reply to This ]

i agree w/the taking the decision, yet we all go thru that. i like this poem, very expressive. ur poem reminds me of a poem i wrote Silent Scream - Can't you hear me crying through smiles ,and laughs ? Don't you know the sound of my scream yet? Brittleness crackles ,and heard with each step Broken glass pierces my feet ,even if imagined The blood still flows in a flood from this heart Why do the ways I go end up alone? Without any one who can understand ? Why am I close to all Yet alone within a crowd ? The truth within not giving birth to any edible fruit Even if asked by me don't heed my request To inflict any more wounds Where is the doctor that cares And works miracles ? Spurned by the fire of love burning within his heart My eyes been gouged out by looking Not to him And my mind searches for the connection Though futility accurately Accesses it's efforts

| Posted on 2004-11-04 00:00:00 | by bilal anaim | [ Reply to This ]

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