Your Turn! by sweet-fire

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Submission Name: Your Turn! dots

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Author:	sweet-fire
ASL Info:	21/f/ky
Elite Ratio:	3.8 - 296/279/42
Words:	91

Class/Type:	Poetry/
Total Views:	306
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	576

Description:
um...well this is really about my boyfriend and i...hes got himself into a real mess but is trying to change...we had a sort of fight and this is just how i feel...

Your Turn! dots

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My face turns red
And my fists ball.
I start to cry
Then I hit the wall.

You did it again
Like you always do.
How can you say
That I should trust you?

You’ve got to be kidding!
All those lies!
Do you really believe
That I won’t die?

Fine! Keep it up!
Keep pushing me away.
But I will show you.
Soon! If not today.

Then you’ll be sorry.
You’ll wish I were here.
Baby, it’s your turn
To shed a tear.

Submitted on 2004-11-03 09:18:10 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  this is really good. Specially the first 2 stanzas...such anger and emotion...but kayla! You cant die, just to prove a point to him, i wont let you, so there...:)

->Dark
| Posted on 2004-11-05 00:00:00 | by drk_angl_17 | [ Reply to This ]
  I like this poem... it sounded a lot like me and my boyfriend this past weekend! and finally we sat down and was able to talk about it and he realized that he was being shelfish and that he should be a bit more considerate of my feelings...i hope things work out for ya'll
| Posted on 2004-11-03 00:00:00 | by codysangel | [ Reply to This ]
  maybe nextime around you'll find a boyfriend who will treat you right, buy you an apron. Smug Doug knows about how badly men can treat their girlfriends and sadly I know some girls deserve it. Aside from whether you deserve it or not, this poem is decent.
| Posted on 2004-11-03 00:00:00 | by Smug_Doug | [ Reply to This ]
  Although I'm no fan of rhyming you've done a good job here. I'm always afraid if I rhyme I'll end up forcing words just for the sake of it. Well written and the raw emotion comes out very clearly. Maybe you should read my post "No More" and make that your personal motto for today! Great write.
| Posted on 2004-11-03 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]
  no person other than a child is worth your life, if it comes to that much emotional torment, they weren't worth your love anyway. As for the poem, it was beautiful, and one could easily feel your pain from the portrait that you painted with your pen, have an awesome day, and keep writing you are quite talented...Bob:)
| Posted on 2004-11-03 00:00:00 | by poetryman | [ Reply to This ]
  He sounds selfish".keep what up?I think i know.
Dont give up, keep trying and keep writing.You have a talent that will bloom.
''Love loves on beneath the wave''
| Posted on 2004-11-03 00:00:00 | by vvv | [ Reply to This ]

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