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Gazing in wonder at a chore now complete
Shall it pass the test of those who inspect?
Will it serve its purpose and yet offer more?
Can those who view it know its intent?
Should I change it, rearrange it
or start over from scratch?
Knowing the answers would make it too simple.
Somebody somewhere will like it I’m sure.
Ideas have flowed to words on paper
Summing in phrases what had to be said.
Anxiety growing as each word passed
This one surely better than the last.
It’s great, it’s wonderful I’m sure they’ll say
But wondering more if it comes from the heart.
Too many thoughts still run through my head
Awaiting their chance to make an appearance
To give much more than a fleeting frown
to reading comments made with no intent.
Sitting back now, with contented smile
passing it on with no regrets.
I like it, I like it, that’s all that matters.
| I like this too! It just seems there are so many wonderful writers and wonderful works of art on here I can't say no to any of them! This is a beautiful description of writing. The rethym and the flow are excellent! The message clear. All that matters is that you like it! Awsome work of art my friend awsome work of art! Have a great day! ||| Posted on 2004-11-03 00:00:00 | by Raineyes | [ Reply to This ] || sounds like you write alot and this is like a relaxed breath and final look at your accomplishment, though not a final poem, your relay that someone somewhere will like it, and thats true, no matter what one man says another will say something else great write, thanks.||| Posted on 2004-11-03 00:00:00 | by fallenone | [ Reply to This ] || I like it too! This could be any of us at any time, and I know I have gone through a similar bumpy flight of thought. Posting a poem on line is a lot different than reading it aloud to freinds, or in a coffee house setting, and different too from submitting to a printed publication. You can walk away from a live reading and it's over no matter what level of enthusiam was shown for your work,- if any. And once you have licked that stamped envelope , you get on with your life and you know it will be months before you receive a reply, be it a rejection slip or a cheque. On line, you get this instant feedback, (well not always instant, and not always feedback ) and you build a repartee with some of the others in your group. Now everything has changed, you desire recognition and positive comments, constructive criticism,-so you check and double check every word, does it sound forced? does it sound like good? is it technically correct in form? grammarically. oh my god - punctuation? Is there a better word for "bliss", do i sound pompous?, bombastic? pedantic? Hallmark? -|
"Should I change it, rearrange it
or start over from scratch?"
This rather pokes a bit of friendly fun at the angst of the poet. But you are right, write first to know yourself and to express what you find inside your heart and soul, and write it in your own original fashion, Nothing else matters.
Thanks for this
|| Posted on 2004-12-13 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ] |