Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Better Persondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: eener
    ASL Info:    21/f/wi
    Elite Ratio:    5.55 - 351/370/53
    Words: 126
    Class/Type: Poetry/Them
    Total Views: 1067
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 870



    Description:
       This started out as an extreme vent because my day's been kinda tough. But I thought it should end on a postive note because I try to be positive and see a good side to everyone. It's a bit of a different style than I usually do, but I was venting, so it sounded right at the time. Enjoy.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Better Persondots
    -------------------------------------------


    You piss me off,
    Point and scoff,
    Then walk away.
    Oh, please stay,
    And taunt some more!
    Am I a bore?
    Sorry about that,
    You cruel little brat!
    I feel blue too,
    May I abuse you?
    If not, then why
    Do you wish I cry?
    Into you, let me tear.
    It's only fair.
    I had my turn,
    Now you can burn.

    On second thought
    I really ought
    To act mature.
    So I ensure
    That I will end
    The hate you send
    Without physical means
    Or eye laser beams.
    I'll smile and extend
    My best attempt to mend
    The part that's broken,
    That's caused what you've spoken.
    For happiness they send
    To the one in the end
    Who keeps respect sacred
    And seeks to end hatred.




    Submitted on 2004-11-03 19:34:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Its nice to see we have a few adults in this world. I think it rhymes nicely for a b... session. In the end you were the better person I hope .
    | Posted on 2004-11-26 00:00:00 | by wildheart | [ Reply to This ]
      oh:) I liked the first stanza. I love the rhym there also. Kinda sacrastic in the begining and snappy. I really did enjoy it. Then, in the last stanza, you offered to mend things, end their hatred...a real view of maturity on your part. Well thought out piece here, I love it:)

    ->Dark
    | Posted on 2004-11-25 00:00:00 | by drk_angl_17 | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought this was pretty good. It was to the point, and definately showed the emotions going on inside you. The fact that the poem did end with you trying to turn the other cheek was a good touch. Lord knows it can be quite difficult to bite your cheek at times, and to show that in the poem is a really good idea.
    | Posted on 2004-11-03 00:00:00 | by ebflannery | [ Reply to This ]
      a sounding board. I truly like this, and yet I think the "better person" is the one who can get their point across, and make the other realize that violence is such an immature way of dealing with anger...when that happens it usually develops close friendships or maybe even a black eye,lol..nice job...Bob:)
    | Posted on 2004-11-03 00:00:00 | by poetryman | [ Reply to This ]
      well written I think if people are that small you should walk away. you are the better person leave them alone.
    you see all of a my family are like that I just got tired of getting hurt .
    | Posted on 2004-11-03 00:00:00 | by littlepoet | [ Reply to This ]
      People are evil... point proven. Har har... but no... seriously... I really liked this poem. I really liked the way it rhymed... and even though I'm not sposed to say this... love the flow. It's nice to see someone who really does try to see the good in people. It's there... it's just harder to find in some people than in others.
    <3 Ashy
    | Posted on 2004-11-03 00:00:00 | by mmmb0p | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. i liked the flow a lot- its short scheme makes it rather rant like, and i am a big fan of the fusion of both. excellently written.
    | Posted on 2004-11-03 00:00:00 | by TechnoticQ | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah...the end was not ready to come forth maybe...but you did it...always see that good don't you?...yep
    You're like the sun that peeks through the clouds when the rain will not let up...
    Keep shinning and all will fall back into place.

    Good venting job and thanks for sharing and being honest about it...
    | Posted on 2004-11-03 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]
      the smile and extendis the lines that really pulled me in ...the beginning seemed like is was kinda missing something that could really grab the reader but all in all it was a good write
    | Posted on 2004-11-03 00:00:00 | by turn back | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    30770

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Linger written by saartha
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Wavelength written by saartha
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry