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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Reinvented Lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Soulraven
    ASL Info:    31/Male/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 510/481/142
    Words: 118
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 673
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 795



    Description:
       This is how i keep love interesting even though not many women these days respect themselves enough to believe a word i say.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsReinvented Lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I've never seen love this way
    Like a rope that always frays.
    Everyday there's something new,
    I reinvent your eyes so blue.

    In the morning I erase the you of yesterday
    So, when i see you today
    it's a different you my eyes belay.
    Sylph wandering my landscape dreams,
    Sublime angel my heart's conqueror supreme.

    I'll keep the picture and at night erase,
    The parking lot of light bouncing off your face.
    No nomenclature for your hips that sway
    At that very moment something in my chest gives way.

    So, I'll fall asleep each night
    And erase your every sight.
    So, the next day till forever's end
    You can take my breath away again.




    Submitted on 2004-11-03 20:06:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      awww. that was so pretty. usually happy poems sound stupid to me thats why i cant write them but that was beautiful.


    "So, I'll fall asleep each night
    And erase your every sight.
    So, the next day till forever's end
    You can take my breath away again."


    i think that was my favorite part. i loved the whole thing though. im always trying to write something like this but i cant because happy poems dont come naturally to me.


    Anyway, i loved it. ill probably be reading more of ur poems soon.

    keep up the great work! : )
    | Posted on 2006-03-24 00:00:00 | by LoveToHateMe | [ Reply to This ]
      what an awesome thought you have going on here. but I think your description killed a lot of women from wanting to read this beautiful piece of art. In my opinion, the parking lot light has to go, that's not romantic sounding at all.

    Now that doesn't mean use the over done moolight thing.

    Take that line out and take away the description and so many people will comment on this. This is a great piece with a minor problem.
    | Posted on 2005-02-16 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. what a journey. i especially love the last stanza. very well done, this one is going in the favorites column. i love it.
    | Posted on 2004-11-03 00:00:00 | by TechnoticQ | [ Reply to This ]


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