Description: This is an really old poem of mine that I've discovered recently. I think that it still has some power in it...
Flesh -------------------------------------------
"For I am light and darkness clinched in endless embrace
Shivering cold and sharp under the frozen wing of eternity
You will bare my son proudly with your eyes lost in the sky
And when he will explode into the world your life will end"
Thus spoke the dark silver pierced being
That was dragging my mother by her long blonde hair
Towards the southern cross of hearts
I'm a new fan. your work is brilliant and for the time of the reading I am captivated. Your metaphysical imagery, coupled with brilliant philosophy promise a great read. Salude
This is indeed powerful. The impact doesn't hit the heart in the center, it moves outside in. Very different and unique style. You read my poem and commented the "tone" was weak in some of the middle lines. I don't know what tone is, can you tell me? I'd appreciate your help with this. thanks, nansofast
i love how after i read this, i want to meet you,maybe some of your extrodanary and unique talent would rub off on me:) the poem is great,give us more!
oh man. i want more. this could turn into a short story with ease. youve got my attention. it was a great two stanza- or should i call them paragraphs? For I am light and darkness clinched in endless embrace Shivering cold and sharp under the frozen wing of eternity You will bare my son proudly with your eyes lost in the sky And when he will explode into the world your life will end" this is a great relative line. i love it. -Q
honestly when i read this i thought of greek mythology. i liked the strong images, the wording, and the larger than life depiction. it makes one grimace and pull the covers tight.
Man that was cool. I love the usage of mythical creatures. Great poem. The images of struggle, and things like that, capture you from the first line. Great stuff. Reminds me of an abusive husband, who is telling his wife that the only reason he is letting her live is because she is pregnant. It also reminds me of when you are holding something back for so long, and when you finally do, it kills the creator of the hurt. Great stuff.
This are pretty gruesome images. I first piture a catholic priest, but then the part about dragging you mother, by her hair guillotined that. This is a pretty good write.peace
Submission Name: Flesh
