Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: key to your heartdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Scribbles1338
    ASL Info:    18/Female/St. Louis
    Elite Ratio:    4.44 - 169/167/37
    Words: 182
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1141
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1185



    Description:
       I just picture her standing on the front porch of a house out in the country somewhere. She's starting to freeze but refuses to believe that he no longer loves her. It's a very sad story, I think...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotskey to your heartdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Somehow feeling so sure
    In the snow here I stand
    Knocking on your locked door
    With the key in my hand

    But the door is locked tightly
    To the past which remains
    Only inside my heart
    Filled with disdain

    I am holding the key
    Tight in my fist
    Never forgetting those
    Moments of bliss

    I knew you so well
    Through memories shared
    I could open your heart
    And prove that I cared

    How could you let go
    And leave me locked out
    Youíve changed all the locks
    Without hearing me shout

    And Iím left here to cry
    For I cannot come in
    Itís getting too cold
    As the evening grows dim

    Clutching onto the past
    I stand here and weep
    Looking down at your key
    That I had sworn to keep

    But I still keep on knocking
    Scared of being alone
    I am getting so cold
    Canít believe that youíre gone

    As I stand on your threshold
    The wind cuts like a dart
    Clutching the key
    That once opened your heart





    Submitted on 2004-11-04 15:19:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i thought that it was good. very heartfelt. i thought that it was a very meloncholy peice. the rhyming was good and i liked the descriptivness of it. it painted a sad yet beautiful picture. i thought that it was weel done. keep it up.
    | Posted on 2004-11-04 00:00:00 | by maquiladora | [ Reply to This ]
      This had a lot of emotion and you could definately feel that, it felt raw. I feel as if I am the girl left standing there .. feeling empty .. with nothing. So if that was what you wanted to create it worked so well. Great work, keep it up.
    | Posted on 2004-11-04 00:00:00 | by Star_searcher | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the way you allow your emotion to flow through this poem. The rhyme was on the edge briefly. A very romantic scene is viewed in this one. I liked it.
    | Posted on 2004-11-04 00:00:00 | by Njud_Gold | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. i loved the scheme and meter. i felt as if i was standing beside, with a cool wintry wind blowing through my hair. i felt quite anxious.
    As I stand on your threshold
    The wind cuts like a dart
    Clutching the key
    That once opened your heart

    i thought this line was about as perfect as a rhyme could get. very nice post.
    -Q
    | Posted on 2004-11-04 00:00:00 | by TechnoticQ | [ Reply to This ]
      Although you lost the rhyme scheme in the fourth and sixth stanzas this was overall a great poem. It was a pleasure to read. Much love.
    | Posted on 2004-11-04 00:00:00 | by Juliets_dagger | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    30911

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Linger written by saartha
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    This written by Chelebel
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Wavelength written by saartha
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bond written by saartha
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Push written by JanePlane
    To written by SavedDragon
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry