Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: key to your heartdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Scribbles1338
    ASL Info:    18/Female/St. Louis
    Elite Ratio:    4.44 - 169/167/37
    Words: 182
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1048
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1185



    Description:
       I just picture her standing on the front porch of a house out in the country somewhere. She's starting to freeze but refuses to believe that he no longer loves her. It's a very sad story, I think...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotskey to your heartdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Somehow feeling so sure
    In the snow here I stand
    Knocking on your locked door
    With the key in my hand

    But the door is locked tightly
    To the past which remains
    Only inside my heart
    Filled with disdain

    I am holding the key
    Tight in my fist
    Never forgetting those
    Moments of bliss

    I knew you so well
    Through memories shared
    I could open your heart
    And prove that I cared

    How could you let go
    And leave me locked out
    Youíve changed all the locks
    Without hearing me shout

    And Iím left here to cry
    For I cannot come in
    Itís getting too cold
    As the evening grows dim

    Clutching onto the past
    I stand here and weep
    Looking down at your key
    That I had sworn to keep

    But I still keep on knocking
    Scared of being alone
    I am getting so cold
    Canít believe that youíre gone

    As I stand on your threshold
    The wind cuts like a dart
    Clutching the key
    That once opened your heart





    Submitted on 2004-11-04 15:19:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i thought that it was good. very heartfelt. i thought that it was a very meloncholy peice. the rhyming was good and i liked the descriptivness of it. it painted a sad yet beautiful picture. i thought that it was weel done. keep it up.
    | Posted on 2004-11-04 00:00:00 | by maquiladora | [ Reply to This ]
      This had a lot of emotion and you could definately feel that, it felt raw. I feel as if I am the girl left standing there .. feeling empty .. with nothing. So if that was what you wanted to create it worked so well. Great work, keep it up.
    | Posted on 2004-11-04 00:00:00 | by Star_searcher | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the way you allow your emotion to flow through this poem. The rhyme was on the edge briefly. A very romantic scene is viewed in this one. I liked it.
    | Posted on 2004-11-04 00:00:00 | by Njud_Gold | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. i loved the scheme and meter. i felt as if i was standing beside, with a cool wintry wind blowing through my hair. i felt quite anxious.
    As I stand on your threshold
    The wind cuts like a dart
    Clutching the key
    That once opened your heart

    i thought this line was about as perfect as a rhyme could get. very nice post.
    -Q
    | Posted on 2004-11-04 00:00:00 | by TechnoticQ | [ Reply to This ]
      Although you lost the rhyme scheme in the fourth and sixth stanzas this was overall a great poem. It was a pleasure to read. Much love.
    | Posted on 2004-11-04 00:00:00 | by Juliets_dagger | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    30911

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Records I written by Raphael
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Carry written by saartha
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    The World written by jjd
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry