Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: no place to godots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Scribbles1338
    ASL Info:    18/Female/St. Louis
    Elite Ratio:    4.44 - 169/167/37
    Words: 517
    Class/Type: Prose/Longing
    Total Views: 761
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2817



    Description:
       Life goes on. And sometimes, slowigndown is the only way not to miss it...but we all seem way too reluctant to slow down. Sigh, just another cruel irony.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsno place to godots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sitting by the window, staring blankly at the cars whizzing by, I can’t help but think of you. Cars are speeding, hurrying to or from their destinations, constantly going. Everyone is always going somewhere, but there’s really no place to go. I watch them, wondering about you. You, like the rest, are also entangled into this web of motion. I observe while the others simultaneously move through life. So many things happen at once, creating a blur of random thoughts and ideas. I am afraid, although I have no idea why.
    Time speeds up, and I again cannot stop thinking about you, wanting you to care about me. You don’t, and I have accepted that with honor. But I still wonder, still wish, and still dream.
    The muddy rainwater splashes out from behind the tires, over and over again, soaking the passersby. The sound of the rain is soothing, and at the same time creates a feeling of horrible nostalgia. I can almost feel the raindrops wetting my face as I think of you, only to realize that they are not raindrops, but tears. Those same cold, hard tears which I had sworn I’d never taste again. Why did this happen? It should never have…
    The pulsations of the drops hitting the glass are enticing. I can’t stop thinking. Going, spinning in circles, we are always on the move. Always in a perpetual state of motion…Yet we go nowhere. We speed up, and yet we still do not reach the goal. Never reaching it, never even seeing it, for we cannot truly know what that goal is.
    I stare at the cars, thinking of you…Where are you going? Are you also spinning in circles? I want to talk to you, to know about you, but you are not that simple. I’ve tried, and frankly, I don’t know how much more I can take. A mistake. A foolish mistake…that’s all it takes? I thought that it’d at least take a little more than just that, but it is up to you.
    The rain speeds up. The cars continue speeding down the wet pavement. I pray silently that they are not going too fast.
    The road entrances me, and I feel as though I cannot take my eyes off of it. Almost as if something is bound to happen there, right there. Hoping that my intuition is playing mind games, I stand up from my perch near the window. As I walk to the kitchen, my frail body swings around and leaps back as the squeal of tires skidding on the wet ground corresponds with a the sound of crushing metal. I am unaware of the time, the place; my only focus is on the mangled vehicles, motionless, like corpses on the wet ground.
    I still think of you, as the rain beats upon the crash. They were going too fast…Life’s too short to fly through it. Going too fast, trying to get somewhere, although they had no place to go.
    The world turns, as I watch the rain, thinking of you…






    Submitted on 2004-11-04 15:24:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Sometimes I think when readers see that a poem is long they are put off but I was enticed by your write. Instead of just writing about the pain of losing someone you put it into this great context that I really cannot describe. I thikn this piece is wonderful. The only thing I will say is that maybe you could try putting it into stanzas or a better structure. I think it is a bit too cramped at the minute.
    | Posted on 2004-11-04 00:00:00 | by Star_searcher | [ Reply to This ]
      good piece nice imagery of missing lots of good expressions that you feel while reading and reading to the end well done stories of life are good thoughts for writing
    sandman
    | Posted on 2004-11-04 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      what a story! it is long but not boring. you really keep the readers attention with your wonderful word choice. you have a great vocabulary, and the articulateness really kept me interested through the whole thing. i liked this a lot.
    -Q
    | Posted on 2004-11-04 00:00:00 | by TechnoticQ | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very descriptive and very well written. I don't usually get so pulled into longer pieces like this (blame it on the ADHD) but this one was very good, I was caught by it within the first five to ten sentences. Much love.
    | Posted on 2004-11-04 00:00:00 | by Juliets_dagger | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    30913

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Wavelength written by saartha
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Bond written by saartha
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Giving written by jjd
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Push written by JanePlane
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry