Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Tamara Tambourinedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Soulraven
    ASL Info:    31/Male/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 510/481/142
    Words: 108
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 995
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 831



    Description:
       This is a song to a woman that i just met this fall.
    She was great, but understood me little. She loved the attention i gave her but loved little about me. She inspired me alot even though i knew she wouldn't let me close. So, to her i wrote this farewell.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTamara Tambourinedots
    -------------------------------------------


    There is a hidden song
    That grabs your ears
    Beating on the drum.
    It's the sweet melody
    of,
    Tamara Tambourine.

    It will sweep your soul
    Causing joy
    With ever rising note.
    It's the wondrous voice
    of,
    Tamara Tambourine.

    Mozart couldn't capture
    This grand sound.
    He couldn't dream
    Of such a ring
    As of this,
    Tamara Tambourine.

    No one has ever seen
    But only heard
    The lovely strum
    On their hearts
    Of the demi-nymph
    That is,
    Tamara Tambourine.

    In my dreams
    Her hips walk with chime
    Of lovely parables
    That touch my very soul
    Thus, I do sing
    To my,
    Tamara Tambourine.




    Submitted on 2004-11-04 15:56:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i thought that it was good. very deep and heartfelt. i liked the repition of the words Tamara Tambourine. it added a good feeling to the piece. i thought that it was well written and was a pleasure to read. i liked it. keep it up.
    | Posted on 2004-11-04 00:00:00 | by maquiladora | [ Reply to This ]
      great post soulraven. i loved the way you tie the name in, very skillful of course. i love your use of simile- demi- nymph i especially liked. was she unbelievable? dont you just know she was. great post.
    -Q
    | Posted on 2004-11-04 00:00:00 | by TechnoticQ | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    30918

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Push written by JanePlane
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Linger written by saartha
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Wavelength written by saartha
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    new moon written by CrypticBard

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry