What a wonderful sounding time you had while younger and carefree. Count those as blessings.. and yes, by all means, mix a little of that joy into TODAY.. along with the responsibilties.. along with life. Hmm, I think I'll do the same I liked reading this. You shared a part of yourself with the reader.. of your earlier days, and some of what your life is about today. I like this > "Never waiting for life" < means you were MAKING IT HAPPEN.
This one is just plain awesome, you are the best writer that I've read on here, keep up the good work. Have you ever heard bob dylans dream? It goes something like this "while riding on a train goin' west, I fell asleep for to take my rest, I dreamed a dream that made me sad, concerning my self and the first few freinds I had, ... with half damp eyes I staired to the room, where my freinds and I have spent many an afternoon, weeeeee longed for nothin' and we were satisfied, thinking and talking, about the world outside" I love Bob, I think you hit on some of the same chords.
this is such an awesome and original write. Your first three stanzas are soo awesome, and really bring out youth, and open mindedness that comes along with ignorance. I love how you grow up in it... but dont let yourself! You seem as though youve let it all slip away, but you havent untill you die! I wish i lived near the beach, but mountains are my beach. They provide the same companionship with my friends, and skipping school never tasted so good there. awesome write
I promise I will try to stay young. And yes. Its hard when the world is TELLING you to grow up. Deciding what you are going to do with the rest of your life. This made me recall such amazing memories. Aww. I dont want to grow up. Ever. Nice write -Andrya
I think that you did a good job.. everyone can relate to this im sure.. well anyone over 20 lol.. it would be nice to get some of that back.. ive thought this way often lately..one suggestion i have is regarding the second stanza...perhaps you could replace the word wakes in one of those lines as it doesnt flow so well with it being used twice so close together..
I liked the thought here. Very Peterpan in that hook sort of way. It disturbed the flow a little that the ryhme varied so much in it's use inbetween use. I wouldn't want to be sixteen again ever. Eighteen maybe. My favorite stanza was about waking up with wax in your hair. I haven't slept on the beach in so long and now it's pretty fricking cold so I won't untill spring. Thanks for your time.