Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Come with me-revised

Author: curiosityskitty
ASL Info:    31/F/TN
Elite Ratio:    3.19 - 149 /149 /30
Words: 89
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1005
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 597


Added a new verse

Come with me-revised

Come place your heart in my hands,
I’ll shelter your battered soul.
Come rest your weary eyes,
I’ll fill the lifeless hole.

Come and love with me,
Your tears I’ll wipe away.
Put you above all others,
Your trust I won’t betray.

Come let me console you,
I’ll hold you close to me.
Come place your heart in my hands,
Together we’ll be free.

With hearts entwined in lovers bliss,
Our souls will be as one.
Pasts behind we move ahead,
Our lives have just begun.

Submitted on 2004-11-04 21:30:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  I'm glad you added some because I probably wouldn't have read it! It's really pretty. It made me smile.
| Posted on 2004-11-04 00:00:00 | by Laveina | [ Reply to This ]
  I didnt read the origional, but from the way it sounds, the longer version was very complete.
I really liked it!
I wish there was someone who I trusted that much. To give my heart away and tell them to look after it!
good work
| Posted on 2004-11-04 00:00:00 | by andrya | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?