Description: hand on the steering wheel at 9 and 3 or at 10 and 2, the DMV manual says ... i drive 5 minutes before 3.
she drives 5 before 3 -------------------------------------------
hands not at all
where they've been told to belong.
sinews burning -
difficult to keep
control of the vehicle
on the sharp curves
and dimewide radius turns.
fierce euphoria becomes her.
a
deviate commoving on route 66
this girl-child remiss;
not at all
where she's been told to be.
i don't know what everyone else found in this (quite a lot of views...chalk it up to word-of-mouth or intriquing titles) but i know what i did.
the metaphor for not having your hands where they're supposed to be, and this becoming that you're not where you're supposed to be... the thrill of euphoria, of innocence because you're not doing anything wrong... or are you? the character in this poem is feeling that first rush of freedom, that scary i-could-do-anything-i-want freedom and she's doing it. she's in the middle of nowhere and i just feel a rush of adrenaline. the poem implies consequence-less actions... of being above what you have been told and doing what you feel you must...being ...on the edge of your own life and above the world...it's all too short of an experience for most of us.
I was in the mood for some "classic" grace. This fed me quite well. I've been missing you. I see so much of my own girly defiance in this one. I want to put it up on my fridge. It is going in my favies. This is beautiful in every turn.
I have no feedback, only compliments. I love this poem, extra-specially the last lines "this girl-child remiss; not at all where she's been told to be."
I am sorry I have nothing constructive to offer. ^.^
Well, that's the most original analogy of life I've heard in a long time. The poem is well constructed, but the one line stanza and the line with only "a" and the numericals rather than "sixty-six" seem a bit unpolished. Taken the subject matter, it may be OK that way though. Good one.
I love you rebel style here, its so fitting of the vagabond spirits we revere as artists. I myself have been picked up for driving while thinking, I'm known to drive too fast too. I liked riding through your poem. thanks again, nansofast
well, I stumbled upon this again... must be fate. Let me explain:
I was perusing through the elite about a day or two ago. Caught this post on someones fave list. The title looked interesting, so I clicked. I meant to comment, but I was at work, so I got distracted.
Anyway, I wake up this morning and I'm on the highway. This freakin poem pops in my head..I start thinkin..."5 past 3?" I usually drive dead noon with my left hand only...so anyway, I positon my hands to interpret the poem and chuckled all the way to work...it was just so weird that I remembered this and found myself tryng it...
but I'm weird...storylessmoral made a comment today about how one cannot lick their own elbow...I got busted at work trying that...I think i'm on this site too much..LMFAO!
Anyway, I'm rambling...just wanted to let ya know that you own a few moments of my today.
I like this. Because I can relate. Your told to do one thing, so you do another. Just because you think you can. Im not where I'm "supposed to be" although Im sure they dont know where I'm "supposed to be" either. Good write. -Andrya
i go for 9 and 3...but then again i drive with both feet...big no no but screw it:D I'll go with your thing and say I've got to do it my own way:) i like how this had a feel of that freedom you get from driving.
this is great! i love the way you take something so simple and make it into a character piece. one minor nit: 'deviate commoving'-did you mean 'deviant', and not sure about commoving, unless it's a seuss-word. again, nice job.
a really interesting concept that you tackled like a pro. one would think subject matter like this wouldn't be something to write about but you did an awesome job making it interesting... REALLY interesting. nice work.
i love it. i like the double meaning here, it shows through. i like the word choice and abstract description. it was very well done, and complex and deep in its simplicity. thank you for the read. -Q
I drive about 11:15 myself - gotta have the left hand free for the stick shift. You must drive an automatic, thus the left hand position. The artistic devises in this piece are quite excellent and very creative. I think the second stanza is set up very nicely by the first. I like what the first picture does for the second. I like your verb use in the second staza as well. I am not sure about the sinews burning line-. I feel like it takes me away from this piece in that part. I feel like it is not a part of the picture youve created. There is not imagery there, where it is otherwise imagry. Yes, I think that is the proble with it. I also dont like fiece euphoria becomes her. Here you are telling me, not showing me. Do you know what I mean. You would be beter ( I think) to tell me what fiece euphoria looks like in reality, than to tell me how I should see reality (as fierce uphoria). I hope that makes sence. And all the same, I love this piece. Its a fave. I do think it could be even better though
Submission Name: she drives 5 before 3
