Description: This was penned at 4am at the end of a party, I was a little intoxicated at the time. Would like some feedback, wonder if i have any talent when i'm drunk.
Ally -------------------------------------------
Flickering candle-light
Dancing spectres on her face
Table full of empty bottles
And empty promises
A heart heavy with desire
A desire to make her happy
I don't know what it is about her
That makes me pine
Makes me long for her embrace
Swirling thoughts
Rumbling in my head
In a structured chaos of futures
I'm falling into her eyes
Into her heart
Inexplicably
In love
Don't we all fall in love at bar closing time? . For sure by the time the table is full of empties. A nice poem though, your flow, as always, is perfect.
i like this write a lot. you do have talent whence inebriated. i liked your choice of words, as a drunken hand is often an abstract hand. i am a bit unclear on the over all meaning of it though. is the subject contemplating, or just infatuated? i am just fine not knowing either way, and thats what is really good about this piece- the interpretive open-ness. great job. -Q
I get that your a little tossed and that is really cool. I can definately relate, being a drunkard of sortes myself. I find that the best artistic ability is concieved during an altered state of mind, wether it be extreme anger, pain, or a drunken squaller. Cheers to that!
Submission Name: Ally
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