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    dots Submission Name: Your name was.....dots

    Author: Mithrandir
    ASL Info:    28/m/N.Y.
    Elite Ratio:    4.62 - 452/681/113
    Words: 119
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 750
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 786

       I wrote this after I had mentioned this event to a person on this site who I respect quite a bit, I was inspired to write it since it will be 4 years to the day on the 8th of november and 4 years to the day on nov 9 since I first wrote about him and cried for the last time. It's not that I am ashamed to or havent wanted to, its just some subconscious thing that stops me from doing so. So This is in honor of Keith Feldman! May he rest in piece! He was there to teach me the things my father never did. Thats why when I have son I pass on his name and a friend of mine who died when he was in 7th grade, My first born shall be Keith James(insert my last name here). I only hope everyone is fortunate enough t meet some one in their life that is or was like my Uncle.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYour name was.....dots

    I havenít let go
    It seems my feet
    Donít want to move on

    Four years seems so long ago
    but when I close my eyes
    youíre still driving along

    You had to leave
    Now I canít cry

    Your name was Keith
    I called you uncle
    No better heart
    Have I ever known

    When you left
    I was speechless
    Now I know determination
    Your name shall live on

    I wouldnít dare call myself a man
    Had I never known you
    Your name I shall share
    With my first born son

    I only wish
    I can teach him
    Half as well
    as you did me.

    Submitted on 2004-11-05 15:38:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Heya John, I've been meaning to stop by your page and chose your featured work.

    I LOVE the formatting! It reminds me of a... gah. The sand things you turn upside down, and they trickle out a timer. I've completely forgotten what they're called, :blush:!

    Anyway, your words were very poignant and it's a sweet tribute to a man who clearly meant very much to you. I've only got one gripe about this, which is that in writing, the symbol form of a number should never replace the word. So the "4" should be a "four". Otherwise it's fine, and as I said, your heartfelt emotion shines through. I like the name myself, and no doubt your son will have a fine figure of a father if you learnt so well from your uncle :)
    | Posted on 2004-11-12 00:00:00 | by Learah | [ Reply to This ]
      i teared up on that last line
    there are no real words i can say
    you know id try
    i cry for you
    and im amazed by you every single day
    i like the now i know determination
    this is a really nice tribute
    hes honored im sure <3
    | Posted on 2004-11-05 00:00:00 | by scorpio sphinx | [ Reply to This ]
      I too think that this is a powerful write because you say so much and your feelings about the subject are brought across incredibly well. My father died 2 and a half years ago and I don't think I could bring myself to call my first son by his name, it would just be too much of a reminder. I hope you stay as strong as you are now...
    | Posted on 2004-11-05 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]
      this is so powerful...so heartbreaking... people have no idea quite the effect they have on our lives... especially when we are young and need some guidance and arent getting it from where its thought we should (parents...) i can tell from this write just how much your uncle meant to you and how endebted you feel to keeping his memory alive and im sure your son will be blessed by you trying to be to him what your uncle (and your son's namesake) did for you... this is a very heart felt write... well done for writing it... i completely understand the inability to write about such things... take care of you.
    | Posted on 2004-11-05 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
    Your heart is so pure whether you speak of love or death...happy or sad.
    The flow and meter are so good but it still does not compare to your passion!
    You have that certain some thing that so many hunger for...I seen it within the very first one of yours I read and still have not read one where it was not found.

    He is all about you and always will be.
    Bless you and your pure heart...
    And thanks for the 'respect'...for you certainly have mine!
    | Posted on 2004-11-05 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. this is really good. one thing though. in your discpription, you said may he rest in peice,not peace. It cought me off gaurd and thought you aout t know. seems like you really miss this guy. It shows though your 'poem.'

    Keep it up.
    | Posted on 2004-11-05 00:00:00 | by Lachesis | [ Reply to This ]

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