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Mercedes


Author: Suven7
ASL Info:    20 female Fla
Elite Ratio:    7.08 - 478 /260 /47
Words: 190
Class/Type: Poetry /Nostalgia
Total Views: 920
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1199



Description:


Generated from one of my mom's sad ole' stories. Yes, it is a true one, my mom being the half Spanish girl herself- and the old lady, well, she died without a spoken name.


Mercedes



Those blind sorrowful eyes
Bought her attention meters away
A glassy brown, and a well of ink
With mute lips you told her to stay
Creased brows, and a graying head
Wearing torn rags that rain could penetrate through
And a shawl with ancient floral patterns
Like your health, bore a faded hue

And later, you asked me of her name…

Stooping, she reached for a bundle of okra
Laid out among dehydrated vegetables in your hold
And paid with a heart surmounting her pocket
As your gnarly hands trembled for the gold
Dropping each coin noisily into the empty tin
Hitched within the folds of your skirt
You smiled then to the post nearest you
And laughing, she lifted you from the dirt

A year later, the girl asked me of your name…

Reborn from the foreign isles
She sought for your heaving shawl beside the road
And later cried
For the blind old lady, who once carried a heavy load
Have died.
But before her sleep- she called for someone yet
‘Twas a beautiful name, one also easy to forget!




Submitted on 2004-11-05 18:18:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Awww... I thought this was gonna be about cars... Oh well. Its okay, except you need more rhyming, because it don't really rhyme. Email me at ultimasephirothx@gmail.com.
| Posted on 2005-07-05 00:00:00 | by Sephiroth | [ Reply to This ]
  This one confused me, now. Nevertheless, it is still beautiful and peaceful, I enjoyed reading it, letting my imagination do whatever it wanted to.
| Posted on 2005-01-14 00:00:00 | by LucyDiamond | [ Reply to This ]
  i enjoyed reading this...the idea seems a little unclear, but i find that i like that in poems...the candace (flow, beat) to this is great...you did a good job and i'm sorry that i don't have any helpful suggestions or much to say about it...i think its good, the wording is great...
| Posted on 2004-11-07 00:00:00 | by morte | [ Reply to This ]


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