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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: been to the city?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: nameless_nobody
    ASL Info:    18 in a few days.
    Elite Ratio:    4.38 - 333/421/67
    Words: 125
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1240
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 835



    Description:
       blame it on a bad day and a news report on another starving refugie camp in africa.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsbeen to the city?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    have you been to the african
    desert of death?
    have you tripped over bones,
    begging for bread?

    have you been to the city,
    where the graves have no names?
    have you met the people,
    ravaged by AIDS?

    have you been to the desert?
    have you been the the city?
    have you walked the streets?
    have you known true pain?

    have you been to the place,
    where its always too late?
    have you seen where death,
    is but a short wait?

    have you been to the african,
    desert of death?
    have you tripped over bones,
    begging for bread?

    have you been to the desert?
    have you been the the city?
    have you walked the streets?
    no....


    thats a pity.




    Submitted on 2004-11-06 17:53:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i'm not sure about the commas after african... did you mean to have it say african, desert or african desert with no pause? and did you just copy and paste the fifth stanza? because it has the same typo as the first one.. tripped has two "p's' ... pity has one "t"... i've read what most of these other peple have commented here.. it seems that they've interpretted this a little different.. i don't think that you're trying to tell people to shut the hell up, or say that people have AIDS out of ignorance... and it's not joking cause this is a serious poem... maybe they think you're heartless... it's okay though.. someone told me i was just the other day... it's a pity that a lot of people don't get to experience what it's like over there so we are kept in ignorance.. we ignore an epidemic that will keep ravaging the world... it's a pity the rich can't see what it's like to be poor... and not because they're lazy but because there's nothing they can do about it... they'll send money to help but they don't fully understand the problem and the money can help them ease thier conciences... oh yeah, you're making a good comeback.. don't be so negative with yourself...
    | Posted on 2004-11-07 00:00:00 | by besodemuerte | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, I've never like rhymed "serious" poetry. It's just a conflict in mood to me. I have to admit the AIDS thing pissed me off too. They have little or no access to condoms. Many have little knowledge of how to prevent it. I've had a couple of friends die from AIDS, and it's nothing about which to joke. Anyway, AIDS is capitalized, and pity has one "t."
    | Posted on 2004-11-06 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      I read this, and i got a mixed reaction. First, for a while, i was glad you wrote it. Then, i read it again, and i was enraged. It is not anyone's fault but their own that they got AIDS over there, wether you like it or not, and wether i like it or not. It's not a shame i haven't been over there, because i don't want to see their primitive and ignorant ways!
    | Posted on 2004-11-06 00:00:00 | by hybridsongwrite | [ Reply to This ]
      this is quite powerful though it could be more so... it kinda seems slightly void of emotion... it makes a very powerful statement though...
    you know how they always play those ad's on TV (right at tea time) with the starving children and the flies everywhere... this is kinda one of those... a challenge to make a difference in the world and the end... pity... its so harsh... i mean i guess its a 'you dont know what suffering is then so shut the hell up' kinda thing but yeah... very powerful
    | Posted on 2004-11-06 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Thys rocked my socks! Consider me blown away. Damn… I had to do a lot of contemplation after reading thys… Thank you. Don't change a thing #6
    | Posted on 2004-11-06 00:00:00 | by Six_Grey | [ Reply to This ]


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