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Ode to My Shower

Author: Ontlogicalamity
ASL Info:    33/M/NY
Elite Ratio:    4.67 - 190 /194 /45
Words: 205
Class/Type: Prose /Comedy
Total Views: 2213
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1135


I had this idea earlier today and manifested it as an away message. Now I have developed it into the massive rant of nonsense you see above. Or maybe it isn't all nonsense.

Ode to My Shower

Once upon a time in the World there came to exist a shower. And the shower cried, "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!" But alas, it could not escape it's fate. The shower was doomed to experience a life plagued by the daily observation, nay, the amalgamation, of my naked ass. What horrible demon infused it's subsistence with a force so fowl? It would never know, though every day it would ask that same question. Every time my dirty feet crossed it's threshold, it would gag metallicly before sending water spewing forth from it's nozzle, the only defense against my vile stench, and a mediocre one at that. On the off chance that my forest of chest hair brushed it's tile walls, it would cry out in anguish, begging me to leave with a blast of heat. When I washed my buttocks, it's ceramic soul would weep and cringe. And then it would be over, I would step out of it's stall, and it would be left alone for another twelve hours or so, until the next gruesome episode. This went on for years, until it's plumbing leaked, it's tiles cracked, and it went finally in peace to Shower Heaven.

Submitted on 2004-11-06 19:27:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  ummmmmmmmmmm...Aaron were you sober when you wrote this? please say no...hehehehe... It was whimsical and definatley something fitting of your writing style. Its enjoyable to read however you know I dont hold much love for prose. I will say I felt like you were trying to mix old english and current day speach in the piece and that kinda irkled me...Specifically I dont know but but your use of "NAY" in this piece I just didnt like it. So yeah thats the only thing I can think off, again this isn't my fav kind of writing.-John
| Posted on 2004-11-07 00:00:00 | by Mithrandir | [ Reply to This ]
  This is funny. It reminds me of this add I saw once with that little thing you flip up to close the drain looking like a shocked face. It said something like "It's seen you naked every day." I think it's spelled metallically though. Imagine how the showers of cellulite-infested old ladies feel!
| Posted on 2004-11-06 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
  Ok I think I cringed a little bit more than the shower did. haha. very creative. And very funny. haha. keep up the good work.
| Posted on 2004-11-06 00:00:00 | by FeelingAlive | [ Reply to This ]
  well, ican't say beautifull, like lightbringer... the thought of some hairy dude's buttocks in the shower isn't exactly what i'd call beauty, but it was funny... good work.
| Posted on 2004-11-06 00:00:00 | by WD20x2 | [ Reply to This ]
  lol this is funny. It just gave me an idea for a bath tub write.thanks for the shower write. I guess you forgot to add how the shower reacts to your signing,
| Posted on 2004-11-06 00:00:00 | by hotrodruss | [ Reply to This ]
  I enjoyed your piece alot. It was lighthearted and fun. You put it together well and didn't say too much more then was needed. Well done!
| Posted on 2004-11-06 00:00:00 | by dmm | [ Reply to This ]
  you sparked an idea in me :::gets michivious girly 16-year-old grin that my b/f knows to run from::: ... you see, my shower and I, unlike you and your shower, have a very loving relationship. i think i will take lightbringer's advice and write something funny like this, only in MY shower's point of veiw. (my shower's a girl, so it isn't perverted) yeah...i really like this, super smile! bravo!
| Posted on 2004-11-06 00:00:00 | by winged_writer_robyn | [ Reply to This ]
  Beautiful. This put what I like to call a perma-smile on my face. It's just funny. this is great. I wish more writers would lighten up and write something funnyu every now and then. I know I need to. anyway good job and keep them coming.
| Posted on 2004-11-06 00:00:00 | by Lightbringer | [ Reply to This ]
  i cringe as well. poor shower. this was incredably funny. i almost laughed. almost. i havent laughed much lately so don't blame it on your prose.
| Posted on 2004-11-06 00:00:00 | by darkness child | [ Reply to This ]
   Hilarious dude. I've never thought of this! It created a comic inside my head, if only it hadn't been so detailed. At least you were kind enough to give it peace at the end.
| Posted on 2004-11-06 00:00:00 | by Suven7 | [ Reply to This ]

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