Once upon a time in the World there came to exist a shower. And the shower cried, "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!" But alas, it could not escape it's fate. The shower was doomed to experience a life plagued by the daily observation, nay, the amalgamation, of my naked ass. What horrible demon infused it's subsistence with a force so fowl? It would never know, though every day it would ask that same question. Every time my dirty feet crossed it's threshold, it would gag metallicly before sending water spewing forth from it's nozzle, the only defense against my vile stench, and a mediocre one at that. On the off chance that my forest of chest hair brushed it's tile walls, it would cry out in anguish, begging me to leave with a blast of heat. When I washed my buttocks, it's ceramic soul would weep and cringe. And then it would be over, I would step out of it's stall, and it would be left alone for another twelve hours or so, until the next gruesome episode. This went on for years, until it's plumbing leaked, it's tiles cracked, and it went finally in peace to Shower Heaven.