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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Thoughtdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Mithrandir
    ASL Info:    28/m/N.Y.
    Elite Ratio:    4.62 - 452/681/113
    Words: 36
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Serious
    Total Views: 587
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 303



    Description:
       Don't tell me what to change or to add.
    I only want the first thing that comes to mind that you think the narrator is thinking about acting upon. No answer is incorrect unless of course you criticize the piece Im not looking for any feeback other then as stated what you think the narrator is thinking about acting on!
    I hope that doesnt sound rude but Im just kinda doing this as an experiment to see if I can bring out a certain thought.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Thoughtdots
    -------------------------------------------


    a thought

    AND

    adrenalin hits the blood stream

    NOW

    this is the only chance

    TIME

    No regrets

    GO

    Some things must be done

    END




    Submitted on 2004-11-08 15:42:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      He wants to ask a girl out and is trying to psyche himself up. That's my cheesy first thought.
    My second, if you want it, is that he's about to commit suicide.
    | Posted on 2004-12-13 00:00:00 | by ber | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmm...well I read four times and still had to go back...I'm thinkiong...GO RUN...and FLY
    don't know why...but the desperation in your voice hear makes me want to scream...just GO for it!
    cool...I love it when a poet says no need for critique...just your thoughts PLEASE...best way to read the damn poem and give comments...thanks John...have a few new
    I'll be back in the others ;)
    kelly
    | Posted on 2004-11-09 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]
      Sounds a little like what I have to go through when I come up with an idea for a poem. It has to be written or it is lost.
    | Posted on 2004-11-08 00:00:00 | by arkay | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    9. How could it be improved?
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    12. Does it feel original?



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