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such a disgrace


Author: brokenmirror
ASL Info:    150/f/duiuwy89
Elite Ratio:    3.11 - 46 /71 /29
Words: 133
Class/Type: Poetry /Dark
Total Views: 880
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 837



Description:


something that just came to me when i was watchin this screwed up movie on lifetime....(its sad....i know....) not completly done yet, so ne ideas/feedback would be greatly appreciated
thx


such a disgrace



tears stained his face
like the blood on his sleeve
he dropped the knife
and walked over to me

he fell to his knees
and put his hands to his face
he mumbled a few words
he was such a disgrace

"why did you do it?"
i asked in dismay
"i couldnt help myself"
was all he could say

i took a few steps back
as he regained his stregnth
he was up on his feet
but the tears still stained his face
he was such a disgrace

so he killed his true love
his high school sweetheart
she had lost all interest
all things fell apart

he couldnt help the pain
so he knew what had to be done
to end her life
before it really begun...




Submitted on 2004-11-08 16:39:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I sort of disagree with BCute. Well, it did flow very well until I came to this stanza:

"i took a few steps back
as he regained his stregnth
he was up on his feet
but the tears still stained his face
he was such a disgrace"

The extra line just threw off the whole rhythm.
| Posted on 2004-11-08 00:00:00 | by Lipgl0ssed | [ Reply to This ]
  This flowed very well and had some strong emotional pulls even though it came from a movie. I'd like to know the movie you watched. Would like to see what caused such a good write.
| Posted on 2004-11-08 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]


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