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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I Had A Dreamdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dmm
    ASL Info:    50/M/Minnesota
    Elite Ratio:    3.81 - 741/888/102
    Words: 157
    Class/Type: Poetry/Happy
    Total Views: 1730
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 977



    Description:
       I have no idea why I'm submitting this one, it leaves me open for a whippin'


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Had A Dreamdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I had a dream last night
    That I've never had before,
    You and I and the rest of the world
    Stood before an open door.

    A light shone out from that open door,
    So bright we could not see,
    And we marveled at it's brilliance
    All the world and you and me

    And a voice spoke soft within us,
    So soft you could barely hear,
    And it beckoned us to step inside,
    We need only leave our fear.

    Yet fear was the power that held us
    From taking that fateful step,
    Away from the darkness behind us
    And into that day unmet.

    As we stood together silently
    Unable to break the bond,
    The lofty door closed noiselessly
    And the light so bright was gone.

    When morning dawned I recalled that dream
    And the message rang so true
    Of a chance for peace and harmony
    For the world and me and you




    Submitted on 2004-11-08 18:31:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is absolutely beautiful Diamond just beautiful to read to ones' self or aloud. Leaves this reader with a warm settled spirit. I will comment and gently I think "And a voice spoke soft within us," if it went ...spoke to us...letting your auidence also hear that sweet soft whisper ...such a suggestions `reading poetry...always with love, Cheryl
    | Posted on 2005-04-04 00:00:00 | by ladyngold | [ Reply to This ]
      I sort of read in this dream of a chance to rid ourselves of fear and darkness.. but yet that same fear is what keeps us from taking that step into the light. It's a brilliant poem and I guess we may all see it a bit differently. But that's what I got from it. I'm glad I read it. You did well in bringing out that each of us has "a door" we could cross to have a better outlook if we only would make that first step.

    Well Done!

    Take Care!
    ~sandra
    | Posted on 2005-03-26 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Sweet! Your syllable phrases matched and you found something to rhyme with every time... Thats cool! I would put a 9.9 out of 10 on this one... I dont know... just because nothings perfect... sorry but its true. Also repeating the world and you and me... that was brilliant. It matches your earlier meaning and adds to the feel of the whole thing... to refer to your own work really puts a tag on you that says: "I know what I'm saying."
    Your rhyming pattern is steady and clear and as I said earlier, your syllables match for each rhyming and unrhyming verse. Well I liked this one a lot... very expressive as well... sorry I want to write more but ill get to the rest later my time is short. Later.
    Lareth/Luke
    | Posted on 2005-03-18 00:00:00 | by Lareth | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW!
    Dan, your poem has made my day.
    The beauty and grace of hope is so clear, true, and sweetly sung, that my heart is touched and my eyes turned towards the light.
    Thank you.
    | Posted on 2005-02-20 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]
      Holy Crap man, this poem is amazing as always. It made me feel good when I read it. It is very well written, I am for sure gonna keep reading your stuff, you write geniusely. I have a picture of this dream in my head. Also, I really liked how you used the phrase the world and you and me. Great write.
    | Posted on 2004-11-14 00:00:00 | by TheHUGE | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi when I read this poem I feel much better.
    In todays world such poems make us stronger.
    Gives hope to carry on and make the world to better place.
    But not everyone think the same.
    A nice and well written poem with a very good message.
    love sanam
    | Posted on 2004-11-10 00:00:00 | by shabnam | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this very much, if I'm understanding your theme, making peace one on one will slowly eventually get the job done. My taste would be to omit any verses that show the same or similar action. Take out everything you don't need., combine lines you really like, I'm convinced we all have good ideas for our work, the power is found in editing. If you read it aloud I think you'll know what I mean.
    | Posted on 2004-11-09 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      how hopeful. i can see that the dream was very spritial for you. i dont know if a whippin' is what im going to give you but well i dont think many are. i can only hope that this not your last piece on dreams. the thing is, dreams like these instill faith at a time when there is none. thank you for writting it.
    | Posted on 2004-11-08 00:00:00 | by butterfly wings | [ Reply to This ]


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