a new thought bubble by Lightbringer

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Submission Name: a new thought bubble dots

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Author:	Lightbringer
ASL Info:	25/M/under your couch
Elite Ratio:	4.63 - 188/210/36
Words:	40

Class/Type:	Poetry/Serious
Total Views:	278
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	546

Description:
I posted this yesterday but I've been playing with the format.Ok I've got it. There a lot of extra dots in there but I had to use them for spacing. Tell me what you think about the revised edition. Oh yeah if you want to see the original it's entitled A thought bubble (of course)

a new thought bubble dots

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Beyond
the.....................stars
Unlimited possibilities lie in wait.
Biding their time.......their unlimited time.
Blessed...are...they...who...are...patient.
Longing..........without............embracing,
brings.......strength.......of........will.
Every moment spent alone,
is another moment
for ref
     .lec
           ...tion.

Submitted on 2004-11-09 16:18:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  I dont know what happened but there are supposed to be a lot of dots in the shape of a snake just so I dont look like an idiot.
Kacey
| Posted on 2004-11-10 00:00:00 | by Lachesis | [ Reply to This ]
  You not only notice it spelles bubble but now it looks like on too.
Cute man cute. original,and it reflects on your other peom about the inner childs.
post more...
Kacey
... you have a bubble well I have a snake! just kidding, I think my suger level is to low.
good bye.
Kacey
| Posted on 2004-11-10 00:00:00 | by Lachesis | [ Reply to This ]
  i like the revision. i thought that it was very creative. you've done a good job with it, making a picture and still keeping the integrity of the piece. keep it up.
| Posted on 2004-11-09 00:00:00 | by maquiladora | [ Reply to This ]
  I like very much where you are going with this. I enjoy seeing poetry like this. It is difficult to make a shape with words, and still have your lines make a cohesive statement, and keep rhythm. Good job.
| Posted on 2004-11-09 00:00:00 | by solararia | [ Reply to This ]
  The formatting still needs some work but hey, you're doing a heck of a job with it. I still have yet to figure out how to do special characters and formatting on this site...the poem is great though. I love the simplicity of it all. Its very to-the-point..which is wonderful for the subject. Because often when writing about subjects such as those one tends to get more carried away in the words and trying to explain the meaning. When its really easier to just say it very simply so as not to deter from the thought. Much love to you.
| Posted on 2004-11-09 00:00:00 | by Juliets_dagger | [ Reply to This ]

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