[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Black Halodots

    Author: Soulraven
    ASL Info:    31/Male/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 510/481/142
    Words: 165
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1035
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1128

       I re-wrote this in poem form

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBlack Halodots

    Standing in the dark light,
    Burning through my bones.
    Lighting up my face,
    Mist of lost tones.
    Looking for myself,
    Hue-less aura trapped on the stage.
    Found trust in nothing else,
    Here I am
    Now, take me away.
    Words from my mouth stream
    Visions of the things I dream
    Breathing in wicker air
    Fate I create here,
    Empty canvas
    I paint Images
    Re-coloring the tainted
    The truth I scream
    Makes you think
    Black Halo,
    Hovers over my head
    Micro-phone rattling out my thoughts,
    Jade is my expression.
    Watching the lighters create
    Stars in front of me.
    Enticing lyrics easing none.
    Words from my mouth stream
    Visions of the things I dream
    Breathing in wicker air
    Fate I created here,
    Empty canvas
    I paint
    Images I re-color
    All that is tainted
    The truth I scream
    Makes you think
    Black Halo,
    Hovers over my head
    Follow the charred light to me,
    Your saint.

    Submitted on 2004-03-13 14:44:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      awww... the darkness of this piece leaves my emotions in awe.... while the pictures continue to flow, my mouth can't explain the deepness i felt from this piece!.. would love to know what u were listening to while u were writing, or maybe u just made it sound like something else... i donno... excellent piece.. another retired to FAVs
    | Posted on 2004-03-16 00:00:00 | by drkpoet | [ Reply to This ]
      Great imagery.. most of the time there is a difference between commenting on lyrics and poetry... not in this case however...great dark write... goth..? keep em coming
    | Posted on 2004-03-14 00:00:00 | by Crash | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the dark but beautiful imagery, to me, all of your lyrics read like poetry.
    | Posted on 2004-03-13 00:00:00 | by brokenmuse | [ Reply to This ]
      Good lyrics for something heavy I think, but the words 'wicker' and 'untaint' seem strange to me (but then that may just be me). What kind of stuff are you playing?
    | Posted on 2004-04-26 00:00:00 | by DevilDinosaur | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Live In Between written by teika5
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]