Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Black Halodots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Soulraven
    ASL Info:    31/Male/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 510/481/142
    Words: 165
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1039
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1128



    Description:
       I re-wrote this in poem form


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBlack Halodots
    -------------------------------------------


    Standing in the dark light,
    Burning through my bones.
    Lighting up my face,
    Mist of lost tones.
    Looking for myself,
    Hue-less aura trapped on the stage.
    Found trust in nothing else,
    Here I am
    Now, take me away.
    Words from my mouth stream
    Visions of the things I dream
    Breathing in wicker air
    Fate I create here,
    Empty canvas
    I paint Images
    Re-coloring the tainted
    The truth I scream
    Makes you think
    Black Halo,
    Hovers over my head
    Micro-phone rattling out my thoughts,
    Jade is my expression.
    Watching the lighters create
    Stars in front of me.
    Enticing lyrics easing none.
    Words from my mouth stream
    Visions of the things I dream
    Breathing in wicker air
    Fate I created here,
    Empty canvas
    I paint
    Images I re-color
    All that is tainted
    The truth I scream
    Makes you think
    Black Halo,
    Hovers over my head
    Follow the charred light to me,
    Your saint.




    Submitted on 2004-03-13 14:44:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      awww... the darkness of this piece leaves my emotions in awe.... while the pictures continue to flow, my mouth can't explain the deepness i felt from this piece!.. would love to know what u were listening to while u were writing, or maybe u just made it sound like something else... i donno... excellent piece.. another retired to FAVs
    | Posted on 2004-03-16 00:00:00 | by drkpoet | [ Reply to This ]
      Great imagery.. most of the time there is a difference between commenting on lyrics and poetry... not in this case however...great dark write... goth..? keep em coming
    | Posted on 2004-03-14 00:00:00 | by Crash | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the dark but beautiful imagery, to me, all of your lyrics read like poetry.
    | Posted on 2004-03-13 00:00:00 | by brokenmuse | [ Reply to This ]
      Good lyrics for something heavy I think, but the words 'wicker' and 'untaint' seem strange to me (but then that may just be me). What kind of stuff are you playing?
    | Posted on 2004-04-26 00:00:00 | by DevilDinosaur | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    3184

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Carry written by saartha
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Cover written by saartha
    Shut Up written by annie0888

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry