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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: living hatedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: poetsoul
    ASL Info:    17/f/cali
    Elite Ratio:    2.47 - 109/151/32
    Words: 88
    Class/Type: Rant/Misc
    Total Views: 339
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 605



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsliving hatedots
    -------------------------------------------


    The light of night
    the dark of day,
    by the path you lead
    i know the way.
    the screams within,
    the cries without.
    All pain blends in to thickening shouts.
    your silence.
    your willingness to suffer
    without violence.
    The smell of youth,
    the feel of rest.
    The open earth beneath your feet,
    the numb feeling while you openly weep.
    An enemy's revenge,
    a nieve love,
    all mixed up to the endles fate,
    and the constant and forever hate.
    You call this life,
    but is this living?




    Submitted on 2004-11-10 15:38:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Perhaps something along these lynes to tighten it up- youknow, go from here...

    "The light of night
    the dark of day,
    the path you lead
    I know the way.
    the screams within,
    the cries without.
    All pain blends to shouts.
    Your will to silence.
    You long to suffer
    without violence.
    The smell of youth,
    the feel of rest.
    The open earth
    beneath your feet,
    numb feeling while
    you openly weep.
    An enemy's revenge,
    a naive love,
    mixed to the endless fate,
    constant and forever hate.
    You call this life,
    but is this living?"
    | Posted on 2004-11-10 00:00:00 | by Six_Grey | [ Reply to This ]
      nieve (naive)

    I truly liked this piece, the very question of what is life, where is the happiness we all strive to obtain and with out it, is it really life or are we just going through the motions...nicely done...Bob:)
    | Posted on 2004-11-10 00:00:00 | by poetryman | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this and the way it was written. But I really do not know exactly what it is about which is ok since it was such a great write. well I guess I cant say anything else since I dont know what it is about but I dont want you to change it. Keep it up.
    | Posted on 2004-11-10 00:00:00 | by FeelingAlive | [ Reply to This ]



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