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    dots Submission Name: Writer's Blockdots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 44
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 718
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 246


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWriter's Blockdots

    A blank page torments me
    like a stomach it wants to be full,
    but it stares at me naked, exposed
    as eager to be filled as an aroused woman,
    but I turn away, like an ashamed child
    who walked in on his nude mother.

    Submitted on 2004-03-14 01:51:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
    I really don't understand why peots beat it into the reader's ears that there poems are masterpieces...I don't want to splash the news,but I think ELITESKILLS is a poetry forum where constructive criticisms and deep appreciation of poetry is entertained...if u don't want me to criticise your work without deep observation of your meanings and techniques...please don't post them...I REALLY DON'T WANT TO PUSH THIS TOO FAR...But I think u are taking this too personal...u think WRITER'S BLOCK is a "masterpiece"?Cuddledumplin...you've got something coming...I advice u lrt readers decide on that ...not u.And if u would please allow me to criticise this...here is it...THIS POEM IS NOT EFFECTIVELY CONVEYED...U NEED A VOICE,LEAPING IN MORE THOUGHTFUL PUNTUATIONS...THE THEME IS GOOD...REALLY STRIKES AN EMPATHY IN ME...APOLLO!
    | Posted on 2004-03-16 00:00:00 | by APOLLO | [ Reply to This ]
      Is there anything you cannot describe in an amusing manner? This is a wonderful analogy! Not really a poem, I just think you're showing off ;c)
    | Posted on 2004-03-15 00:00:00 | by MyX | [ Reply to This ]
    Nice imagery and a fresh approah to our dreaded friend the block. The phisical manifestation of the stomach carried over to the sexual desire was particularly, interesting...by the way, I liike the naked/nude word choice..a nude mother is not exactly shameful,,more natual..but naked..yep starkers..LOL
    | Posted on 2004-03-14 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      oops... I forgot to mention the buffet of metaphor on this perfect little steam table... keep it up
    | Posted on 2004-03-14 00:00:00 | by Crash | [ Reply to This ]
      very descriptive of wroters block... great imagery... go figure... first to point out a repeat which isnt exactly a repeat - hmmmm I think I just pointed out a repeating word in someone's work... weird... anyway... great work once again... keep it up
    | Posted on 2004-03-14 00:00:00 | by Crash | [ Reply to This ]
      Lovely writing, cuddle. You manage to extract a great poem form writer's block. If that isn't talent, I don't knwo what is.

    ~ Niphredil
    | Posted on 2004-03-14 00:00:00 | by Niphredil | [ Reply to This ]
      nice piece - you compare writing to an embarassing situation, but I wonder how many times it happens to you, and how many times you manage to be with "her" really deep...
    | Posted on 2004-03-14 00:00:00 | by Nightraven | [ Reply to This ]
      'k, who the *#&#&# does APOLLO think he is????? How dare he jump all over you like that? And I have never known you to take honest, well thought out critique poorly. You're one of the most mature writers I've seen around here. Apollo included... he threw a total hissy-fit over a comment I made a few weeks ago... and you know I give good commentary. It's tough to kill a god, but not impossible... so can I try?

    ANYWAY............! The poem was wonderful. Beautifully crafted... and a perfect expression of the agony of writer's block. The word choices are exceptional, especially the final lines. <><
    | Posted on 2004-03-23 00:00:00 | by WorththeWait | [ Reply to This ]

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