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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lifedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Anju
    ASL Info:    25/f/India
    Elite Ratio:    3.06 - 24/27/15
    Words: 36
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1049
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 214



    Description:
       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


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    dotsLifedots
    -------------------------------------------


    The sufferings of life
    Are as sharp as Knife;
    The tensions of life
    Has the pitch of Fife;
    But dont go warm
    And be in strife,
    For it may harm
    Your precious life!!!




    Submitted on 2004-11-11 12:31:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like the emotion, and what it symbolizes but I think that people need to remember that poetry isn't just all rhyming words. You could have made this a more intense poem by not forcing things to go together. Try adding some thing else to it. I too have done this same thing and it is easier to say things than to do them, but I think that people would like it more if there was more to it. But I am by far not the greatest poet. Great emotion though
    | Posted on 2004-11-11 00:00:00 | by ashlee_jane2003 | [ Reply to This ]
      meek has no place in this poem...its very serious and very good...i like the rhyming..but it seemed it some places you tried to force it if that makes any sense...but i really really liked it
    | Posted on 2004-11-11 00:00:00 | by turn back | [ Reply to This ]
      all i can say is you have way of turning serious stuff into seemingly meek stuff. this was one of those poems i never really expected!
    | Posted on 2004-11-11 00:00:00 | by nevender | [ Reply to This ]


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