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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: [ EMOTION SLUT]dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ShadowHarlequin
    ASL Info:    17/m/Etheral plane
    Elite Ratio:    2.64 - 22/31/14
    Words: 57
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 219
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 564



    Description:
       Started the first bit in an IT lesson, was tired, kinda down, just came to me...

    I don't know if it's about someone, maybe it is in a way, but I don't hold that against them now, it's all good I hope...

    The term "Emotion Slut" is meant to be that. I thought it was a cool idea, it's a person that, really like to have a person feel something for them, but then kinda gets bored, and plays with that feeling, twisting it, and then destroying what was there. That's what it is to me anyway, just an emotion slut...

    Not as good as I would have liked it, but things are getting a lil on top of me now (college stuff), and I want to submit this without screwing it up, so this is how it is...

    First poem in ages, hope it's good enough...

    DEDICATED TO:
    Ally - Being there, and letting me back, I'm sorry, and thank you...
    Eve - Being here, keeping me sane, all the rest, thank you, love you too...

    From my dA page
    http://shadowharlequin.deviantart.com
    http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/12185668/


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots[ EMOTION SLUT]dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Torn, twisted.
    release,
    you cut.
    Hated so,
    emotion slut.
    Fuck yourself,
    pass away.
    Dissapear,
    from this day...
    ===-----
    Love, friendship.
    Tossed,
    aside.
    Crimson joy,
    dark and dried.
    Lost in bliss,
    I hate you,
    everything,
    I once knew...
    ===-----
    Gone, forever.
    Lost,
    from you.
    Killed yourself,
    killed me too.
    Left alone,
    you're not here.
    Silently,
    shed a tear.....




    Submitted on 2004-11-11 14:06:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I agree with darkness child, the last few lines are very good, very well put together. I'm glad you explained the term 'emotion slut' in your description, as i'm not sure i would have understood it from the poem alone. Some people have commented that you're spoon feeding emotion, but it is kind of nice to see some raw emotion on a page, not tangled up in a fancy metaphor that could be mistaken for another emotion, because metaphors can be interpreted in most ways, raw emotion is a single thing. Yes, it is like other 'depressing' poems, but the last few lines really make it stand out. And, you managed to keep imagery going all through the poem, which is hard.
    | Posted on 2004-11-11 00:00:00 | by Fifi | [ Reply to This ]
      this was so awesome. i liked how you captured that title. i hate people like that and you said it well in the last few lines. this type of crap kills the people you thought they were and in the end it kills the relationship. i think you wrote this just great and i love it!***
    | Posted on 2004-11-11 00:00:00 | by _winky_ | [ Reply to This ]
      i thought this poem was good and beg to differ with ben folds because your idea on emotion slut is really cool. some people can't deal with depressing subjects, they want everything to have bluebirds & rainbows; but in reality the whole pie has everything.
    | Posted on 2004-11-11 00:00:00 | by pioneerheart | [ Reply to This ]
      Hm, I do think it is a typical depression poem, just a very nicely put one. I really like it and it sounds like something I would write when I get ticked off enough. It could be better though; if you read some of my depressional poems you will see where you went wrong. It is kind of simply stated, though I can see depth. Maybe if it was not so simply stated it would be awesome.
    | Posted on 2004-11-11 00:00:00 | by Crimsonpathways | [ Reply to This ]
      its a yes and no between both previous ones.. i just dont think you needed to spoon feed the emotions like that, because you totally proved you could go beyond that ordinaryness with your lines "Crimson joy,
    dark and dried.
    Lost in bliss" where awesome lines. i really like it, but a reiviosn or just edit would make it reat. reminds me a lot of beat poetry, if thats what you were going for.
    | Posted on 2004-11-11 00:00:00 | by Josh | [ Reply to This ]
      i disagree with the last comment. this was a great poem! i loved the last part!

    killed yourself
    killed me to
    left alone
    your not here
    silently
    shed a tear

    i loved that! maybe it doesn't tell a story or anything, but not all poems are meant to. keep writing, this was great!
    | Posted on 2004-11-11 00:00:00 | by darkness child | [ Reply to This ]



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