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what is...

Author: brokenmirror
ASL Info:    150/f/duiuwy89
Elite Ratio:    3.11 - 46 /71 /29
Words: 133
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 945
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 899


feedback would be wonderful...thanks a bunch

what is...

what is loneliness?
the only fallen tree in the forest
the barren branches when coldness starts to set in
the docked canoe at the boarded-up summer home
the single bird seperated from the flock

what is fear?
the lurking shadows in the closet
the faint screeching in the distance
the mystery that no one can solve
the sound of a thousand splintering guitars
the pain from a paper cut which never goes away

what is betrayal?
the empty sky, or a moonless night
the cold wind rushing against your face
the thunderstorm
the wilting flower, that had the potential to be beautiful
the dried riverbed

what is heartbreak?
the thorn on every rose
the pictures that fade away
the coming apart of something that once lived
the end.

Submitted on 2004-11-12 22:22:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
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  Heh. I decided to click and read this poem once again. It's totally on my feelings right now. I feel bleh. A lot of people must feel like this. As you know, I had added it to my favourites awhile it ago. It's going to stay there. It's the first thing I've ever read on here that was just right there on a feeling. It just stood out. Well, I was checking messages and such, and I noticed it, so I decided to read it again, and well... heh. It didn't make me feel any better, but it was still good. I still like it. Even if I have read it over a dozen times.
| Posted on 2004-11-19 00:00:00 | by AMemoryFaded | [ Reply to This ]
  Very nicely written. Discriptive, and so true. I feel much like this. You're the first to have something I'd like to add to my favourites. Good job. :)
| Posted on 2004-11-12 00:00:00 | by AMemoryFaded | [ Reply to This ]
  "what is heartbreak?"
"the end."

I feel you on that one 100%

Nice description on every other example you gave, but that last stanza really wrapped up what I was feeling the whole time I read that one.

I'm not sure about anyone else that may read this, but that didn't "paint" imagery for me. No, it made me feel it with every line I read.

Nice job. Bravo.
| Posted on 2004-11-12 00:00:00 | by Me Rambling | [ Reply to This ]

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