renee, I hope you don't mind me calling you that, I just can't bring myself to call you eener, which I don't even know how to pronounce, nonetheless, renee, this write really shows some blossoming on your part girl. this is divine in every sense of the word. this poem has more depth in it than all of your other pieces put together. and the main reason that you were able to add depth and content to it is because of its' style and structure. you mixed it up a little as far as rhyming goes, which completely added a tremendous amount of meaning to its' subject "mind over matter". and by the way, the rhyming in this piece is entertaining. hey! ok. that's cool. the way you rhymed in this piece not only made this a piece that is easily digested and meaningful, but also entertaining. thumbs up.
Interesting point you have. I like these kind of meanings their always so deep. Your poem is alright with the flow. Keep the last line long- its the last line come on- I think its alright. Your poem is fine dont change it- good job