Description: i dont know im in a realy strange ass mood right now. its probably full of spelling mistakes and bad grammar but i dont realy care. this wasnt a properly thought out thing it was just a 5 minute jotting. got inspired by a drip and thought i would write something. bash it if you like. just dont make me cry.
the life of a tear. three of four seconds from creation to death. created by a person in the grip of painful sadness then disgarded and alowed to drip onto the floor or soak into a dirty old pillow. they never get a chance to see the world or feel emotion themselves. they are just born and then they fall to their doom. sure some of them manage to hold onto their creators face for a little while but they all eventualy fall. their futile atempts to hold on never last. they just prolong their agony for a few seconds. then share the weaker tears fate. its a painfuly sad thing the life of a tear. almost makes you want to cry doesnt it?
alright, so i won't bother you about spelling mistakes on this one... i'm just gonna be unoriginal and say the same stuff everyone else already did... you took a simple idea and made it into a good write... it makes you stop and think about the simple things taht people don't usually think about... like watching your footstep disappear in the mud or something... i agree with someone's epiphany on adding in some of that repitition... it would make those lines even more powerful... and i don't cry...
This was very original...Most always write about the feelings which are the reason for the tears but here you have put the tear in the spotlight and you did it in a creative and interesting way. I would hold onto this...later on you may be able to develop it into something else.
Dripping, falling, death… Thys was a very original write! Thank gawd! I’ve been going through some commoner crrap and thys was a breath of fresh air. I kno you said you did not care about the spelling etc- but some fine tuning and thys is something special… ~#6-
the life of a tear. three of four seconds from creation to death.
drip, zoom, splat
and my reasoning for this is that those two lines are the most powerful lines ive ever heard and they sum up the drip zoom splat so well! the rest of the words are fine but i think they detract from the power of those first two lines... now you dont gotta do nothing with what ive said coz thats just what i think but yeah... awesome thoughts!
You need to do a thorough spell and grammar check on this. It is interesting. It would've been kind of cool if you'd tied tears into a sort of insect-like life cycle. You know, having a larval stage and such.
This sounds like one of those things from a movie where the main character is getting ready to give up, and then they have a conversation with an influential character who needs the main to stay strong. Motivational, that's what I'm feeling from this. It's a good piece. One of those poignant things that we all run into sometime or another. Of course, it's not poignant specifically to me, because I'm not doing anything strenuous that would greatly benifit another person, but it has that ring to it. By and by a very good write, especially for being a five minute jot.
I would have never guessed that Drip, Zoom, Splat could have so much meaning. I liked the colorful language and the fact that you made me think about tears in a new light. Its cute. Good work -Andrya
Submission Name: drip, zoom, splat.
