[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: An Undisrupted Formdots

    Author: Soulraven
    ASL Info:    31/Male/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 510/481/142
    Words: 56
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 699
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 412

       I haven't found who shares the other half of my soul yet. but i ponder about her.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAn Undisrupted Formdots

    My soul rains
    On the world.
    My soul shelters
    This little girl,
    Who I have
    Never met.
    My placid words
    She has not
    Heard, yet.

    Itís a wicked thing
    To have loved,
    To be waiting
    On this being.

    The invisible silhouette
    That shades my mind
    Of a dream outlet,
    And an undisrupted form

    Submitted on 2004-11-14 02:30:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Little girl makes it sound like you have a precise image of who you are looking for. A model, more like, of the girl you wish to meet. Actually, you sound as if you have a whole scene in your mind, where you meet this girl. It could be raining, as you say, and you could be on your way, or in, or out of a shelter. Or she could be in one, or she may be sheltered. Or, sheltered can be a way to metaphysically say that she's hidden and away from you.
    You then confirm this with the closing stanza.

    Itís a wicked thing
    To have loved,
    To be waiting
    On this being

    Surreal, isn't it? You feel you love this person, or have loved, for who knows who many long days since your mental conception of them, yet, you know you are still waiting for them to be physically conceived. I wonder if, when it does happen, and you do encounter this person, do you know? Is it that omnipresent type of love that occurs the moment you realize this is the rest of your life? How can you know? The torture of contemplating all that this type of love entails is wicked. That is true. But the love in itself, not sure.

    My placid words
    She has not
    Heard, yet.

    On a more romantic note-- if she is out there, for you, she may have just heard all of this. And I don't think she would have found this placid at all. Just consider it. Idealize.
    | Posted on 2008-06-19 00:00:00 | by JenFlynn | [ Reply to This ]
      i really like how you have broken up the sentences into really quick and short lines it give the poem something extra..keep up the good work...
    | Posted on 2005-02-12 00:00:00 | by Racing_Chick | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this. I agree with cuddledumplin, it could mean you are becoming a father but it could also mean you are waiting on your soul mate whom you have not met. And now I read your description and that's what it is. This is very beautiful. I love the thought of meeting my soulmate and loving them, no matter what form they are, in an undisrupted form in my mind. Really good job.
    | Posted on 2004-11-23 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      i thought it was a big compliment to the whole concept of destiny. mostly, everyone looks for the same thing. i guess it just makes us feel like we're special... out of all the people in the whole world, we are the only one that has that certain spark... and that we will be remembered. oh god, i'm losing it.
    | Posted on 2004-11-14 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]
      I didn't read the description before I read this, and I thought you were becoming a father. It's a kind poem anyway. Aw, looking for your epipsyche is hard work. Good luck on your quest. The last stanza is beautiful.
    | Posted on 2004-11-14 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]