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    dots Submission Name: A Glance, A Blushdots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 39
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1187
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 258


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Glance, A Blushdots

    Your eyes of blue fire sear me
    leaving my cheeks pink.
    I go through a queue of emotions
    from embarrassment to happiness,
    and I share coy glances and schoolgirl smiles
    that you flash back at me,
    my sweet heliographer.

    Submitted on 2004-11-14 02:37:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i surely smiled when i read this.....that perfect flirt!

    mutually exchanged.

    you capture it perfectly in a poetic photograph.
    | Posted on 2012-10-07 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      This is beautiful. Short, simple, but deep emotions that I think we've all been through at one time or another. After spending years reading poetry debating the different views of true love, it is nice to hear about pure and simple flirting. lol, a grand piece.

    Much admiration,

    | Posted on 2005-12-22 00:00:00 | by DeepDreamer2008 | [ Reply to This ]
      Just another face in the crowd


    The face that never stops looking on at you...even after days and miles away.

    Its amazing how eyes have a physical power that we cannot see.

    The beaming rays of heat, hope and reassurence.

    Someone will always be watching us..we can count on that.

    | Posted on 2004-11-22 00:00:00 | by iShoes | [ Reply to This ]
      I like "blue fire eyes"...more powerful image than "like"...and if you want eyes to burn, more power the better. I have this image of that blue fire...what's that stuff...? under chafing dishes...Sterno! But they say that's hotter than orange flame.

    This is cool...as if the idea that he's a heliographer...as if his eyes are not only fire, but intensified by the mirrors...flashing you unmistakable messages of passion. Cool piece.
    | Posted on 2004-11-16 00:00:00 | by marysunshine | [ Reply to This ]
      That is so sweet, childlike, and innocent. I can proudly admit that I relate to this so well. Whenever he peeks at me, or I, or both of us, I blush with shame as if it's a sin to look at someone. Then I feel exhilirated and fresh; I feel like dancing all night. This is exceptional. Take care
    | Posted on 2004-11-14 00:00:00 | by wordsofmind | [ Reply to This ]
      i like blue fire eyes the best, just 'cause it's different and unexpected. it's like you're almost looking in a mirror here, with your glances and coy smiles coming back at you. this is what i like to see, a happy, smiling you!
    | Posted on 2004-11-14 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      "Blue fire eyes" is much better. It uses less words, and fits well with your short, to-the-point poems. I love it. It's weird actually, this sounds a little like a poem I just wrote, and we both posted them around the same time. Must be on the same wavelength . As usual, I like this. You seem to be getting back into your stride. And I'm glad to see it.

    | Posted on 2004-11-14 00:00:00 | by emo-tastic | [ Reply to This ]
      the usual from you i presume. anyway, i kinda like the way you weaved the last part in sense that it fits quite well... the blue part of a flame is always the hottest, after all. i guess most people are in a way "infatuation junkies" ...

    nice job.
    | Posted on 2004-11-14 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]
      I can't decide if I like 'your blue fire eyes' or 'your eyes like blue fire' more. it both sounds great. but I really like the title cause it fits so perfectly. I like that you use 'exotic' words. makes the whole thing more interesting. cause always the same 'normal' words is boring. and heliographer makes a great image.
    | Posted on 2004-11-14 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      I can't decide if I like 'your blue fire eyes' or 'your eyes like blue fire' more. it both sounds great. but I really like the title cause it fits so perfectly. I like that you use 'exotic' words. makes the whole thing more interesting. cause always the same 'normal' words is boring. and heliographer makes a great image.
    | Posted on 2004-11-14 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      I love "Your eyes like blue fire sear me" nice! Again, you taken us into the unknown with "heliographer"
    it's a beautiful way to send messages of light from the sun within us. I enjoyed this very much. nan
    | Posted on 2004-11-14 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      I can see how the last line fits in but it doesn't seem a bit obscure compared to the rest of the lines, which seemed to flow naturally, and the last line kind of stutters a bit. How about something like:

    "That you persist to imitate"

    I think the repetition of the word 'blow' throws it off the most, even though it makes perfect sense. I enjoyed reading this though, nice write!
    | Posted on 2004-11-14 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]
      "Your eyes like blue fire sear me " -I don't care for the simile here, I think it chops up the image a bit.
    "Your blue fire eyes sear me"-I like this better but the stressed words seemed arranged with a different choppiness.
    *Your eyes of blue fire sear me* is my suggestion, though I am only going on about this because you asked, and when asked something I go off on tangents.

    I really liked "queue of emotions" and of course the heliographer reference, "flashing" unspoken messages to you, -and you blush, because these messages are reflections of your own thought. I liked that, because it's seldom the actual words spoken that cause the blushing reaction, its their own inner thoughts exposed (they think)-"busted" huh?
    Delightful, a nice blend of sophistication and the ingenue. Silver
    | Posted on 2004-12-01 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]

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