And I didn’t leave
Not after those cruel nights
you went darkly into the lower-
lost Chinatowns of hiding
I stayed behind with an itchy
pair of pajama pants
Clutching the needles we shared
Memory of the dusted and
clusterfucked apartment…
Flustered and damn jim-dandy
What happened under our sheets
and how long did we let it go…
I could crawl next to you
w/o being servile, you could
ignore me and be just so
sweetly you, as the laughing
jerk --> Friendly curse on
our lover’s bed
Descending we’d flirt,
as uncertainty floated on
above our heads…
I in my poet’s chair, goddammit
its just a crate, you’d say,
and fuck you if you think so
Stole two pairs of panties and
a bra today, under my clothes
stalking into stores and making
queries at the salesclerk
You sure no one knows?…
Quiet,
you’re too obvious, they
need to think I’m gonna buy it…
You are insane, you’d squeeze
me nearer as you say
Isn’t it funny how some god
made us this way
When everyone else apologizes
and we just turn away?…
Well anyway…
the story still goes
I in my gutter, with black eyes
and frozen toes
Wonder what gave you back to me
the form of true addicts
you steady the shake of me
in my grimy shirt, stolen pants
Tells me wipe your tears,
deep-breathe it in,
Stop being so dramatic…
then I’m calm
I wanted you before the trials
All showed up in our arms
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